hello 2009

i can't believe i let 2008 slip by without ceremony. but the truth was that my head was buried under papers, and my eyes squinting at the computer screen as hundreds and thousands of people were ushering in the new year. Exhausted by the mental rigours, i fell into bed near midnight, not even bothering to catch that "moment" when we became 2009. In bed, i heard the faint 'boom' 'boom' 'boom' of the fireworks exploding off the bay - they reminded me of the grenades and bombs in Dili in 2006. Still, that could not peel me off my rest to catch the spectacle on the goggle box and so passed 2008 like any other ordinary day. I had a nightmarish encounter with Val all night. Young as he is, he must still have sensed the excitement of a new year buzzing in his blood - he was up and down the entire night - or perhaps simply because he, in recent days, has mastered the art of walking and that was thrilling him to bits. All the while, i was lamenting to myself and wondering how i would complete my essay - due Monday - in a matter of days. And so 2009 came by in the most unceremonious manner. You can probably sense my utter lack of excitement - maybe it's the age, or maybe it's the stress of studying, or maybe just maybe i finally see through the whole falsity and manufactured happiness of welcoming new years with wasteful fireworks, helium (animal-endangering) balloons, and commercialism. Or maybe i'm just being the New Year Scrooge. Bah, hum-bug. Don't let my ennui affect your party mood. Whatever it is, 2009 is here and life proceeds as usual, although i do hold a faint hope that things will get better for me.

i had meant to close down this blog to start another one since it has morphed from its original mission (of my tumbleweed days) to something else. I thought that New Year's Eve would be a significant day to do it but even that I couldn't muster up energy for. And so, this blog continues to exist for today but for how long i have no idea.

Rest.In.Pieces.

How do u read this picture? A book so well-thumbed it has fallen apart, or a book so well-thrown that it has succumbed to its end prematurely? To be fair, it is a combination of both – the book has been well-thumbed but it suffered courageously (and exponentially) from Val’s powerful pitcher throws. Welcome to Val’s world where books and balls are no different except for the quality of their bounce. Val is the bogeyman of books, as the bogeyman is bogeyman to kids. I can imagine the tomes shuddering in their skins, contemplating their imminent doom in the dark of night when we have all fallen asleep. They huddle in serious conference: contemplating when their spines will be broken, their pages torn, and their sleeves ripped apart. They trade tales of their torture, Oh you were only tossed? I was bitten, then pulled apart, his mommy wasn't in time to rescue me. Some grimace in disgust as they recount how he slobbered over them in moments of crazed affection or extreme hunger. Others, especially those with the flaps, bemoan how they now nurse injured appendages. This blog entry is in memoriam for the many books who have now retired from service – they did honorable duty at meal times, providing Val (the little boy who doesn’t want to sit still) with endless distraction - Point starfish? Stroke the rabbit’s fur. Where’s the alligator? These noble hardboard books that are now reduced to cardboard will forever remain deep in our hearts. Now, I just need to surf online for more discounted books for my little book warrior and hope that he will one day learn to only hug them, not chuck them. Or someone, please invent some Val-proof books.

And he turns ONE

Here in this little red dot, turning one takes the form of birthday bashes and presents, cakes and streamers, songs and games, and frenzied parents worried if everything would turn out right - so that Precious Baby will have that dream birthday bash of his lifetime. But in another world (where we were from), turning one is a real achievement in itself. For a baby to reach one, it means the baby has triumphed over the milieu of diseases threatening to snuff out his/her fragile life. Malaria, dengue, tetanus, chicken pox, cholera, etc are some of the illnesses that babies in another world from ours have to contend with. And so, that is why the UN's way of measuring survival is to see how many children out of 1000 reach the one year mark, and then the five year mark.

And so, even as we celebrate Val's birthday today, i can't help thinking of all the kiddies i had written about during my time in ET. They remind me daily of the privileges that babies in our world have that those children can hardly imagine. So i think it's appropriate to give thanks to the Man Above for giving us the joy of Val, and for Him to have protected this little man so well, blessing him with health and happiness. It is not something we can take for granted. I want to remember that, for some parents, when they celebrate their children's first birthday, it is truly a celebration of life - in fact, many parents in ET only baptise their kids after they turn one - almost as if it is only now that they are truly acknowledged to 'exist' or be counted. This was just one of the many challenges we had, persuading parents to bring their newborns to be registered, as many still don't have this practice. To them, they would rather wait till they're sure their babies are gonna survive before getting into the whole process of registering, and then baptising them.

So what did we do for Val's birthday?



For a host of reasons, we decided to have a very simple and intimate celebration - we brought him to the zoo - just the immediate family. I thought that since he has been reading so much about polar bears, tigers, elephants and all those animals in the books, he would really revel in seeing these animals up close and personal. And boy! Was the lil guy thrilled! First stop, after blowing off the candle on his Ben & Jerry's Banana split ice cream (that i called his cake), we set off to see the polar bears.



Val was enthralled by the huge white hairy mammals that were the polar bears swimming so gracefully in the glass tank. You could almost see the synapses in his brain firing away like fireworks as he put two and two together - Yes, these are the same white fluffy things i see in my book everyday!



Then, we had a field day seeing the zebras, giraffes, rhinos and the world ugliest monkeys (in my opinion) - the proboscis monkeys with their bulbous noses. just as we were about to see the penguins and sea lions, Val fell asleep, so the adults had fun instead.



I threw a frisbee at Philip the sea lion and was rewarded with a wet sloppy, and shall i say absolutely fishy smelling, kiss! Val woke up to see the white tigers but he couldn't (with his tiny brain) figure out why those tigers were not orange and black like the ones in the book so they didn't interest him. Of course, those white tigers (after the macabre attack) have become celebrities - everyone wanted to see the maneaters.



Coming home, he got to play with one of his birthday gifts - - - -

100 balls from ELC that Grandma couldn't help buying. She loves the fact that Val is infatuated with balls, and reckons that picking up these 100 balls might even be a great exercise programme for her.





Well, he certainly had a ball of a time in his playpen! I wish we could have bought him 500 balls - that would certainly overwhelm him! Happy birthday my little guy. Mommy loves you so much.

One more day....

Growing up...












Funny shot of him @ a mini piano at ELC United Square. To watch the cheesy video of the lil maestro in action: click here.

He's going to be ONE tomorrow! Once again, i am amazed by the speed with which time has slipped by. To be honest, the first few weeks did seem loooong especially since Val was a typical Dr Sears "high-need" baby who needed a lot of carrying, cuddling, nursing and gentle handling. I really despaired thinking, Oh no, this is the most challenging task i've ever experienced. Give me a mountain to climb any day! But once he learnt to smile at around that magical 6-week mark, things really became a lot rosier. I hope that this weekend, i will have time to write a better, and more thought out The Year in Review on that boy named Val. Oh, and Val's managing to walk up to six steps now (click here to see video) before collapsing into a sack of giggles. He's also crawling strangely - - like doing a wheelbarrow push - lifting his kneecaps away from the ground so instead of looking up, he stares a lot at the ground and of course, ends up crawling smack into walls, doors, you name it. Sigh.