away from timor........ramblings

away from timor, i realise that i am constantly hopping onto cabs to make appointments on time because I forget that it now takes more than ten minutes to get anywhere in town.....so i am kinda retuning my clock back to a bigger city and a faster pace in life generally.
away from timor, life is simpler and complicated in different ways. christmas lights adorn the trees and the streets are brightly lit in all colours, throughout the night. there is no more need to prepare candles and matches in case of 'ahi mate' and life seems unimaginable without airconditioning here... it's too ***** cold here in the tropics! all weird! the air conditioning in church was so cold I thought i was in canada or something. People wear jackets for mass here while in timor, we try to wear the loosest and airiest tops which can catch the slightest breeze to take the pearls of sweat away.
away from timor, i finally gargle my mouth with tap water for the first time in months...i still have to remind myself that i CAN drink from the tap. and of course, here, where every drop of bottled water is imported, the prices of EVIAN and AQUA isn't heaven and earth, just a dollar in difference ;-)
away from timor, i find that i now need a good Sudoku book to keep me occupied while waiting for the trains and buses to bring me home. Everyone has a mobile phone attached to the ear or their thumbs. Everything is so noisy, bright and busy.
away from timor, i find that i now need more clothes each day i venture out and see such nice stuff enticing me in the shop windows - ON SALE! 20% discount! half price! post christmas specials! ....or how about that new 3G phone (which will be useless back in Timor) that is now so much more affordable if you buy it with a 2-year plan? or that Motorola (red) phone that will give $17 back to a worthy cause?
Oh so many choices now, it gives me a headache.

just a few days home and already i feel tired out. everywhere looks different - new buildings, new malls, new everything. I had to hunt for the pharmacy i usually frequent because it's been moved. I had to ask a cab driver what those bright lights over yonder were (a new golf course) and i had to find out that a friend discovered she had cancer and is now undergoing chemotherapy, two elderly friends died from cancer, and a former schoolmate is now divorced. of course, there were also the nice surprises - like new babies added to the brood in my social circles and how suddenly all conversations have become 'how old is he/she?' 'how heavy was he/she when first born?' 'ooo can he/she walk now?' 'what's the first word?' goo goo gaaaa gaaa...
i guess, i am just feeling a little out of touch. it comes with the choice i made when i decided to venture overseas for my adventures and now for work. i do lose touch with my friends and each time i come back, i desperately try to claw back into the fold, but each time i slip a little further. Hmm... relationships.... you really do need time to build them. I can't be a good godma if i only see my godson once every year.....

maka ne'e deit....

tribute to Caicoli

'Been passing by this setup for the last few days while on the way to work. It's right outside the old UN house in Caicoli. Ironic huh, a scene of love, sacrifice and goodness that the Holy Family embodied, yet set in the most contrasting environment - a home that used to be but now burned, pillaged, destroyed and down to its skeletal remains, with graffiti decorating it. You can see it both ways - the Holy Family healing the wounds or someone with a real bad sense of humour.
I have a special thing for this area because I used to eat at the warung right across the old UN house every single day. The ibu used to sell the yummiest (and most unhealthy) fried chicken and for $1 only, you can get kangkong & banana flowers (for warding off malaria), 1 piece of fried chicken, rice, and sometimes even bean soup! A West Timorese, she would also go to English Mass every Sunday at Igreja Aimutin where we would see her and chat with her too. But since the crisis, her shop is now closed, and we hardly see her anymore in church. Last I heard, she's now living with her husband and son in Balide. I miss her $1 meals....

This area is also particularly heartwrenching for me because I have seen it in much better days. There is a small loja here selling snacks, soft drinks and where people would sit and gossip after lunch. Now, it's always shut.

There was also an English school in a small shack that some of my colleagues would go to after work. It doesn't exist anymore. This was how it looked in better days...

One of my colleagues lived a few doors away and his house too was completely destroyed, and everything was stolen, down to the last piece of zinc on his roof. It's kinda sad that i only knew where he lived after his house was looted, when other colleagues pointed it out to me each time we drove past. It must be so painful, to see your house, yet be unable to return. He told me that when the crisis erupted, he didn't want to leave at all, but when the houses nearby started burning, he had to run away with his family.

He brought nothing at all, safe for the clothes on their back and a statue of the Blessed Virgin. Of course, everyone kinda knows that those whose homes were not destroyed belonged to the right group. Amidst the empty shells of homes in Caicoli, you still see the families whose homes were left untouched, so it's kinda awkward when you pass through, and you know who is aligned to whom.

Dang, i'm getting super nostalgic here........... I guess, it's like death you know... they always say you see a bright light at the end of the tunnel and your memories of your life start flashing before you. I guess, that's me now. Although i know i will be back, but i can't help feeling the nostalgia...for the good ole days when i could walk home without feeling anxious, take a microlet and go shopping in Comoro Market (where are my market shots???), sit on the beach eating ayam bakar....

Anyways, i haven't done this for a long time - going around with my tiny camera. I took these shots yesterday after my 'Timorese dad' told me he had bought some Akar from Atabae. What's Akar? Apparently it's sago from palm trees, which is processed into solid cakes.
You have to soak them in water, dry them and then use them for making dosi or cake.I'm more accustomed to seeing Sago made into round balls and used in desserts in thailand, singapore, malaysia etc. Not in cakeform.... intriguing. Incidentally, the akar was one of the most essential food used during the resistance. The women in the OPMT (Popular Organisation of Women in TL) used to harvest and prepare sago in sacks and distribute them to the Falintil fighters so that they could survive for long periods in the bush without exposing their cover and stay alive. Cost for each block of akar - $1 ONLY!!!! You can ask the Timor Travel guys who ply the Kupang - Dili route to help you buy some since they pass Atabae on the way.

Sit until it disappears syndrome

Ok, i couldn't help but blog about this after Living Timorously mentioned Jam Karet and the Amananha attitudes that have been inherited by the Timorese and practised to perfection. I love my Timorese friends and many of them extremely bright, but in my 1.5 years here, i have noticed that some are afflicted with the "sit until it disappears" syndrome. What are the symptoms?

1) The person nods 'yes' to all your requests - there is little clarification
2) The person busies him/herself with other smaller, easier tasks and your request gets buried into the back of the mind
3) The person then tries not to remind you of your requests - this is the 'sitting on it hoping it will disappear' part
4) The job never gets done for weeks
5) When you rememeber your request and hunts down the responsible person, he/she says 'oh, i wasn't quite clear what you meant then' or 'i'll do it this afternoon' then the cycle goes back to (2). To stop the endless cycle of procrastination, i've found that i literally have to be in their face several times a day, until they finally beat the inertia to get off the starting block.

This extreme procrastination happens even for those who are highly educated and are definitely capable of performing the tasks. It seems to be a mental block or fear of inability or simply knowledge that it's an unpleasant task that stops them, and they have picked up the idea that if they sit on it long enough, the task will peter away into nothingness. I've had serious confrontations with close Timorese friends about this bad bad habit because it really paralyses them into inaction. It's getting them to realise that the worst monsters melt away when you face up to them, and they do grow larger and larger when you run away.

I guess, maybe it's not just the Timorese who are afflicted with this syndrome. Plenty of people around the globe try to run away from their fears without realising it breeds their monsters. I've had serious procrastination issues before when i was freelancing but i grew so tired of the mental stress of undone work bearing on me (no matter how i tried to sit on it it wouldn't disappear!) that i finally decided to hack, slash and slaughter the 5-headed monster with my sabre. So far, it's worked quite well. Just hope that those of my friends afflicted with the syndrome will eventually pick up the courage to battle their fears too.

Perhaps then, this country will move faster along in decision-making, and the homeless and displaced and the poor don't have to wait much longer for the powers above to make their critical and sometimes hard decisions.

more tumbling tots..............

Finally, the wind has stopped blowing this tumbleweed madly upside down and everywhere..

I'm five days before my contract here breaths its last....my last major 'deliverable' is done, and I am now catching my breath to pack up and see what else needs to be done. But i will return to Timor again next year, even if i don't get a job....this land is rather addictive ain't it?

A few issues popped into my mind, after glancing at the large number of ETAN mails in my mailbox and i am attempted to respond to them... or at least get them off my chest.

email "Whitlam asked to 'tell truth'" reminded me that the Balibo 5 were murdered on the day i was born... a great way to remember significant historical facts huh? It also reminded me of how ignorant I was of the happenings in ET all my life until 2 years ago even though my country is a close neighbour, yet,geopolitics caused my country's weak media to report little on ET's independence struggle... Other birthdays i know: Tia M was born on 28 November, and she celebrated her 16th birthday in 1975, while A was born on 7 December, and he was 4 when the Indonesians invaded Timor.Everytime I look at them, i see the miracle that they are still alive and breathing, knowing how thousands of Timorese were brutally slaughtered.

email "It makes you wonder, doesn't it?" had a really cynical comment from an anonymous reader about the fence at City Cafe. I would like to counterpose it. Recently, I met an Aussie woman who has been living in Timor for 7 years, and had met all kinds of awful people who did awful things to her, and so she had become really skeptical of all NGOs and UN staff. So when I first met, her fangs and claws were sharpened and ready to shred me apart. There was much bitterness in her. I had to gently remind her that i used to be a volunteer too, and eventually, through our interactions, she realised that I am indeed not evil or a bloodsucker, or what the anonymous reader described as " expats using the recipient country as a stepping stone for career advancement, paying off mortgages, financing expensive holidays, satisfying personal expenses and as a safe heaven sexual fraternisations..."

What i want to say, is, for every baddie out there, there are also many GOODIES! I've met so many great malaes who have truly embraced their Timorese brothers and sisters as their own, and are doing many good things here in Timor. perhaps Mr Anonymous Reader needs to stop hanging out at City Cafe and meet the other nice malaes i know, who are dedicated, passionated and sincere. And when i say malaes, let's try to think out of the box. Black-haired, brown-eyed Asians and Africans are also malaes. I think that while some people choose to volunteer (like i did) and find great satisfaction in that, there are others who prefer to have a career from international development - and they should not be burnt at the stake for that choice.

Remember, it is a CHOICE. I despise how some volunteers get all high-falutin about their 'sacrifices' and scoff at those who receive a salary. To each their own, i say. YOU chose to be a volunteer, nobody forced you to. (You can still fight for social justice if you receive a salary.) To be honest, i don't think there is such a thing as 'true altruism' in this world. When we volunteer, we DO get something back in return - a nice warm feeling in our hearts, and some people also get awards, recognition, and more warm feelings from others. So it's NOT for nothing, so stop getting all romantic about volunteerism. I dare say this, cos I have been volunteering since 1998, and I have never told anyone that it's ALTRUISTIC cos it's not. I do feel good about it, and that's the reward.

That said, i must admit that there are many baddies that exploit the system to linger on and get posted from one country to another. BUT there are also volunteers who are like that! So it's not about whether you have been PAID or not, but what YOU, your character is like, and what harm you do in the country. In a cowboy town like Timor where the laws are not loophole-free yet, there will always be opportunitists earning a fast buck at the expense of others. But that feeling of being in a frontier town (and lawlessness!)does make it all the more exciting to be here.

Okay, that felt good. I'm normally not this vitriolic.

Last one on my list: the doctor with a stethoscope round his neck.

one day, my father came to visit and he was climbing up to the Jesus statue. As he was going up the last flight of steps, he saw a man, and asked in amazement, "Is he really a doctor?" because this man was climbing up the hill with a stethoscope slung around his neck. We all know who this man is. Apparently, he's a bit of a legend in ET's neighbour to the east and many doctors volunteer at his clinic. He's also very popular with the Timorese people. I'm writing about him because recently there was a story by Jill Joliffe in The Age about women being trafficked into Syria.

There was a mention of the women being AIDS-tested before they were recruited. After this article was circulated around, someone sent me the FULL copy of what Jill Joliffe had written before her article was slashed down to exclude these few paragraphs:

27 girls were tested in Bui Kiak’s group, all signing forms filled in by others. She did not know she was being AIDS-tested, or might have suspected the job was not babysitting. Syrian visas do not require AIDS clearances, unlike some Middle Eastern countries.

Known as a champion of the poor, Dr M (deletion of full name, mine) said he ‘had no idea’ of the identity of the people who approached his clinic.

He said medical tests are usually free for Timorese but ‘because this was so unusual we tried to negotiate a contract, of 5USD per patient. It was not paid by the patient, but by those requesting the tests’.

He admitted women should not have been tested without informed consent. ‘They should have had VCT, voluntary counselling and testing’ he said, ‘we should have been more careful’.

Whoaaa....I don't have to say what's wrong here, do i? Will I get in trouble for posting this here? Maybe The Age was afraid of being sued that's why these paragraphs were deleted? Or maybe it's because the doctor mentioned is so popular in that country to our east? Or they just didn't trust Jill Joliffe's professional skills and her ethics? Hmmm.. makes me wonder if the media in the 'free, and developed world' is any freer than those in developing countries?

Anyways, just some rambling tots... before i pack up and wave tata. I should be in Laos in January volunteering there for a month before seeing what else i can do back here in Timor. So until then..................adios!

PR Faux Pas? or Refreshing Honesty

it's always refreshing to read media releases from the PM's office as they run the gamut from announcements of scrap metal sale bans to everything else under the sun... today's latest release is about cuban docs.... BUT what's the most scintillating were these 2 paragraphs:

“During the worst of the crisis in May, June and July our Cuban doctors stayed unconditionally in the villages and hospitals with the patients and the people, providing the much-needed moral, medical and psychological support,” Dr Ramos-Horta said.

“This is in contrast with American Peace Corp volunteers, who, even though there was not the slightest threat to their safety and well-being in rural areas, were given orders by the US administration to leave our country.

“The Cuban courage and commitment is also in contrast with the Japanese. JICA, the Japanese International Co-operation Agency, abruptly interrupted its co-operation in Timor-Leste, even though there was never any threat to Japanese nationals, particularly in the rural areas.”

I must say i am shocked that the PM's office being the highest diplomatic office in the country would say something like this. I'm weirdly impressed by the (naive?) display of honesty, yet slightly concerned about the effect these rather undiplomatic statements would have upon those mentioned.

Although i do agree that the Peace Corp volunteers left pretty early and really abruptly - some of them without the opportunity to say a proper goodbye to their counterparts and host families (according to my knowledge) - I think that these few paragraphs are too generalised and simplistic and very inaccurate. It was NOT the volunteers who decided to leave - it was the organisation Peace Corp which is in turn funded by the US Govt. As for JICA, it's the same. It was funded by the Japanese Govt. I, too at that time, was a volunteer funded by my country. As a volunteer - i didn't have a choice to leave or stay. If i want to respect my terms with the organisation, i have to go when the organisation says so. If i stay on, it means I am cutting my ties with the organisation and my safety nets like security, insurance, post-volunteer stipends etc might be cancelled out. For me, luckily my contract was due to end 30th May anyways and i left on 26th May.

It's not quite fair to pinpoint the VOLUNTEERS as the ones abandoning ship. The same goes for the UN. When the JICA people left, they left only 1 or 2 days BEFORE the UN declared that all non-essential international staff would leave for their safe haven - Darwin. Isn't that the same? Also, JICA for example, don't hv the same kind of security setup that the UN has to protect its workers in case things worsen. In fact, i was impressed that JICA actually booked an entire ISOS plane to get its people out together. I took that plane.

I respect the Cuban docs for staying and i have seen many of them work ceaselessly during the emergency period in the IDP camps. perhaps the PM's media unit should have simply praised them and left it at that- there was no need to 'compare and contrast.'

I also don't agree with the statement that there was no threat or danger in rural areas for foreigners. Yes, i know that many foreigners in the districts were ok, as were us all in the city. But, there were many weapons that had been distributed across the country and till now at least 200 police weapons are missing. Police men were killed in Ermera too. With the complete breakdown of govt institutions during those 2 months, can we really blame other governments for reacting this way? For Peace Corp especially, if they did not pull their volunteers out and someone got hurt or killed, how will it explain to a family in the US what happened? Yes, perhaps they over reacted or were overly cautious, but i don't think they deserve to be disparaged in a press release.

Mak ne'e deit. Back to work now.

There is HOPE!

It's been a great day to end the week! This morning, the First Lady and the Prime Minister welcomed a role model for girls' rights - MARTA - who was finally 'born' after 3 years in the making. She's going to be the vehicle for any agencies or organisations in ET to promote children and girls' rights. In fact, the First Lady herself promised to use Marta in Alola Foundation's advocacy for women.

In the afternoon, at the beach, it was the final day of a week of sports (tug o war and beach volleyball)organised by Joao Choque Becora's new youth group to commemorate 12th November - the Santa Cruz massacre. When i arrived it was the OZ diggers versus the Kiwis - they put down their guns on the sand and dug their heels into the sand and pulled like crazy. Both teams proved to be as beefy as each other and the marker never moved beyond the winning line so it was a draw next up, was the exciting one. PNTL (Police) versus F-FDTL (army). I couldn't help but feel slightly tense. But Mr X was there - oozing charm as usual to work the crowd which by then had swelled to hundreds. He asked them not to shout 'Police' or "army' but just 'forsa' for both teams. At the blow of the whistle, both teams began tugging the rope. Incidentally none were dressed in their uniforms, preferring to wear the "timor unidade nasional" tee. The police won and the crowd cheered and then it was really touching when the POLICE and ARMY guys lined up and hugged each other.
That was a GREAT GREAT moment that gave us all so much hope for a better future. This is IT , i thought. That's IT. That's what we all need now. Such moral and psychological support and great SHOW of reconciliation through sport. And there was no doubt, the President's charisma provided the glue and stabiliser for the event. And then for one more great RALLYING moment for ALL the timorese there at the beach - police AND army VERSUS the international forces. It was absolutely fantastic. Kudos to Joao Choque and his team! Suddenly, you could feel that the national pride was really at stake cos it was now US versus YOU. It was just elevating to see the police and army officers lined up as ONE to............ BEAT the international forces TWICE TWICE TWICE TWICE.......

"Timor oan kiik liu maibe forsa bot!" Someone even said, "malae isin bot maibe mamar oituan." haha hilarious. But it was more than words can express when the crowd roared with triumph when the skinny officers hauled their much bigger counterparts' arses across the winning line in the sand.

Timorese police and army officers UNITED as one in a tug of war against the international forces. 10th Nov 2006


International forces digging their heels deep into the sand as they compete with the Timorese forces.

Scrapping sale of scrap

Yes, you heard it right. ET has temporarily banned the sale of scrap metal according to a press release just in from the PM's office.

Rogue scrap metal traders buying valuable cabling and other materials suspected to have been stolen have forced the Government of Timor-Leste to temporarily ban the export of all scrap metal.

Apparently, collection and trading of scrap metal has sky rocketed after the civil unrest obviously due to the deluge of damaged properties and the govt is having trouble policing which of the scrap metal being traded is bona fide scrap or simply stolen scrap. A colleague laughed and said,"you know now scrap metal is US$3/kg so the kids in the neighbourhood are all hunting for scrap metal to sell to the traders." So if your pots and pans start walking, you know where they've gone ;-)

Perhaps this explains the recent story "Timor Telecom becomes victim of theft" in Diario that said TT (the monopoly telecom provider) has lost some 9.5 kilometres of telephone cables, and has reported 43 cases of stolen cables and solar panels! [ my own primitive translation] The spokesperson even said that after they had replaced the stolen phone cables, they were stolen again, therefore TT has stopped replacement services until the authorities can guarantee some security. Perhaps that's why after a month of waiting for a new internet connection, our Becora home remains unconnected to the virtual world (albeit a very slow one even if we got online).

Speaking of internet, TT has been putting out adverts in the local papers "Is our internet is expensive? $2 = 1 hour" I can't help but suspect this is a reaction to Ramos-Horta's stab at the monopoly telcom company for having such skyhigh prices. JRH had said about a few weeks ago that he's requested for World Bank experts to look into the contract with TT to explore how prices esp for internet can be lowered. Coincidentally after those remarks, TT introduced a new $5 top up card to commemorate it's 4th anniversary but unfortunately the price per minute remains the same. I had to explain this to a disappointed colleague who couldn't understand why TT bothered to introduce a new card if the price remains the same. The local papers also interviewed a local economist to explain to the people that the new $5 top up card is NOT cheaper. Oh, when, when will we be liberated from the evil clutches of TT's US$0.20 per minute phone calls?

no more violence

FCJ at Balide organised a day of wall painting for the boys in the 'hood last Friday. Apparently the boys have been running to FCJ as a shelter each time they fight, using the walls as their shield. Instead of turning the boys away, FCJ got them and others in the neighbourhood to paint the walls turning it into a montage of colourful anti-war messages. A real lift for those passing through the area - on the way to Santa Cruz or towards Balide Church. Amen to small acts like this one!

Survey on Youth Groups and Gangs

ETAN has posted the report at this link : A SURVEY ON GANGS AND YOUTH GROUPS. Enjoy reading it! It's a great 'resource' map for the kind of groups and gangs that young people are involved in. Really quite insightful although I'm not sure if I agree that Choque is SIMPLY a youth group that runs sports activities as the author puts it. Choque does run a 'security' business and Joao Becora isn't exactly a youth leader in the most innocent sense. But i've heard from a reliable source that Joao's been largely responsible keeping Becora quite safe adn trouble-free in recent times because he's issued warning to the 'kids' to keep out of trouble.

Anyways, what's the difference between a gang and a group?

What saddened me most when reading this report was seeing the pictures of little kids giving the third finger and belonging to some of the groups, also the fact that many of the groups have bad reputation for getting drunk. You wonder what kind of influence they are growing up under and how this might affect their formation as adults.

Painful reporting

The latest allegation against the Ozs has been that their forces were responsible for killing 2 youths last Friday. The headline on STL made the accusation sound like fact which was really unfortunate. C told me that the day the bodies were found her husband was the one who interviewed a youth who said he saw the 2 young men killed and then ran away. The next day, this youth spun a completely different story to the media leading one to suspect if a few extra dollars lining his pocket had something to do with the story change.

The local newspapers today also had such conflicting headlines - one of Taur Matan Ruak accusing OZs of failing to secure peace for TL; yet the bottom front page story was the affirmation by the Government to support OZ and Kiwi troops in the country. Obviously both hands ain't clapping so well here.

Anyways, a blogger had wanted info about the survey done on Gangs and Youth Gangs. I have the PDF to send it to whoever wants it. I just don't have the technical saavy to upload it somewhere! sorry. so if you want that report, leave your email address!

Sunday out

Went kayaking yesterday.........only paid $2 for 1.5 hours. it was good exercise. i can't believe that i've waited so long to try it out. i guess having a willing companion made a difference. S was willing to paddle out far away with me. the water was really clear near the bend before Cristo Rei but when it got rougher the two of us chickened out and paddled back! when i laid on my front on the kayak, it reminded me so much of my days in Hawaii when i would go surfing every other day! wowo... those were the days man! i miss Hawaii! i miss the surf! Had promised C that i would join in the frisbee session, even brought my own frisbee but somehow those pumped up guys with their testostorone overflowing (!!!) seemed too intimidating for me. Maybe it's my sad little inferior self, but i knew that i wouldn't even get to smell the frisbee if i joined in. Hee hee. so i just threw my frisbee with a few others.

Oh and to cap off an exciting day, just as we were taking off, there was a loud crash and I saw that outside the Sol de Mar (???) a motorbike had crashed into a car and an old Malae Mutin had jumped INTO the car after forcing open the driver's door,-from afar i could see the car actually shaking about as the two men went for each other. Suddenly, a swarm of big beefy guys all in sexy tight shorts rushed towards the scene and extricated the old man out of there. He was rabid. He was shouting accusations at the chinese timorese guy who had by then gotten out of the car too. The malae mutin had blood streaking down his face and shirt - probably a broken nose - but the younger man looked unhurt. The best thing - the police commissioner Antero Lopes was there - enjoying his sunday (oh the weekend had been quiet by the way - no gangwars whatsoever) - when this happened. There were many GNRs around too. So it was not a real well planned attack really. Too many witnesses saw the old guy jump the young one. It was really a dramatic end to the day. AS the sun set, the crowd melted away, leaving a few 'kaypohs' hanging around for the last morsel of juicy gossips. Haha, does that include me? Anyways, i learnt that it was really a family feud, the 2 men were actually related and had some court case between them, and money was involved. The old man must have been so furious and felt so unjust to have jumped this guy infront of everyone - using his own body & bike to stop the car. It's hard to say who's right or wrong.

I've learnt in Timor, at least, the black and white isn't so clearcut all the time. Mostly it's gray here.

kape timor

roasted coffee in traditional weaved basket
Originally uploaded by tumbleweeed.

we needed a shot of coffee desperately for our magazine - which actually has nothing to do with coffee - go figure! anyways, so i had a brainwave and poured some of my own coffee into a nice weaved basket i have at home and worked on the shots last night. i kinda like the shots man! especially the purple and pink accents of the basket!

speaking of coffee, some of my friends needed a big dose of caffeine today after the extraordinary disturbances last night when they hardly got a wink of sleep. Their neighbourhood has been a gang battlefield in past months but last night, the gangs turned onto their house - attacking them three times; presumably because they were the ones who called the police and caused a guy to be arrested for his antics. This chap had apparently been arrested 3 times and of course will be released yet again.

frustrations are abound with the apparent impotence of the international forces to get the troublemakers away from the rest of the people. the forces themselves are frustrated too - it must be beyond ordinary folks like us to understand what constraints they are under - but fingers have increasingly been pointing to the judicial system or the lack of it as the reason behind this inaction on the offenders.

so getting attacked three times in a night isn't something to be proud of. what rubbed salt in their wounds was that the third time they called for police intervention, they didn't show up! i guess there were too many 'fires' to fight the entire night. also, for doing what the UNPOL asked people to do - to call and inform them of such disturbances. So for being civic minded - they are now the gangster's latest targets.

And as i write this, there is an sms going round saying that bodies were recovered near the Beach Road market and that has led to another row in that area near the Malaysian Embassy. It must be God's grace that the heightened tensions in the Pantai Kelapa and Fatuahad areas coincided wtih the week i decided to move from there back to Becora - which is really safe and undisturbed now, except that we get regular power cuts.

Oh, by the way, i must regularly remind folks reading this blog that this is not NEWS, i.e. i don't have the most accurate stuff here all the time cos i'm no reporter out on the street getting the latest - just an ordinary person sharing my thoughts and what i perceive to be fact.

;-)

Reconciliation might have a chance?

From the PM's office - press release dated 25th October

He was writing in response to the airport closure and expressed his deep disappointment in the troubles.

Today’s closure is ironic, as we survived the worst of the crisis without any closure, and now due to a gang of common criminals, who deliberately targeted defenceless citizens, we had to close it.

"Timor-Leste’s Armed Forces, the F-FDTL, led by Brigadier General Taur Matan Ruak, demonstrated that courageous spirit, in a public statement issued today. They apologised to all Timorese for all the damage caused directly and indirectly by them during the crisis and they also offered their condolences to the families of the people who died during that time. They also stressed the need for us all to strengthen our national unity and our supreme interests as a people and a nation."

I also spoke with many other Timorese religious, civic and political leaders including Secretary General of Fretilin and former Prime Minister Dr. Mari Alkatiri, who indicated to me his readiness to help lessen the tension and violence. He said that he would visit the Airport IDP camp to talk to people there, to seek their cooperation. I fully support this initiative.

Let's see some political will going boys!

airport under seige

It sounds a bit dramatic but i kinda get that feeling from the reports coming in from Lusa the portuguese news agency and other sources. Apparently the gang war ranging in the airport area has become so bad that the Comoro bridge was blocked off and the airport actually shut down, and attacked by the people living in the camp nearby. The AirNorth flight was cancelled and apparently 2 international soldiers were hurt in the fray, and that real bullets (not GNR rubber ones) were flying about. One of my colleagues visited the airport in an armoured vehicle to inspect our stores there. We have our logistics base there holding hundreds and thousands of supplies for the emergency. He got there through the backroad and managed to ensure that the supplies were safe but for now, we won't be able to get those school bags to the kiddies out in the districts which is a bummer. I'm really quite disappointed with the state of affairs here. Just last week, things were still quite calm but now the #$%%^^&* are out making trouble again. And with the airport closed - it's bad bad bad PR in the world man! It's like Lebanon being attacked by Israel except our airport got attacked by angry disenfranchised locals.

It blows my mind when I think of the people destroying their own country's properties - i guess when you can't see any hope in the future, you just don't feel like you have a STAKE in the country and thus don't see a point protecting the economy or the nation. The reasons are so multi-faceted and complex it's hard to pin down a reason for this. Is it just poverty? or the culture of violence nurtured through hundreds of years of resistance and wars? or the lack of education? We're frustrated. Our Timorese friends even more so. This sense of insecurity weighs on our minds daily.

Oh lord, bless this nation.

church attacked

Yesterday while on our way to Aimutin Church in the notorious Comoro neighbourhood, as we were nearing Landmark Supermarket, we spotted people lining the streets and knew immediately there was trouble ahead. We stopped at the supermarket where some kind hearted souls had placed a whole lamp post across the road to stop vehicles from crossing, picked up a friend, and did a u-turn to try to get to church via the beach road.

We could see ahead that lots of people had gathered - presumably at the comoro market which has been a flashpoint for ethnic conflict since Day 1. We went around and actually got to church but saw lots of UNPOL and oz soldiers already gathered there. The church looked deserted and the gates were closed. Gradually more and more soldiers arrived and A took out his media pass to get closer to find out more. We then heard that the church itself was attacked in the morning right after the tetum mass was over. People had came into the compound and attacked the church goers as they were exiting. but news that the church was destroyed was wrong because i checked out and there wasn;t any broken glass. EVentually at about 1130 (one hour late) the priest began mass with about 30 of us. We were small but our voices were strong and it gave me great satisfaction that Mass was celebrated despite the destructive efforts of some. it was a memorable mass knowing that outside the gates, a ethnic storm was brewing.

At this point in time, i had no idea what happened to cause the attacks but according to news reports, 2 easterner boys were killed, beheaded and their limbs cut off by westerners - the grisly deaths inciting revenge attacks. Sigh. It's awful. Last night too, the timorese family i live with received news that one of their relatives in railaku was murdered. i don't know whether it has been confirmed or was it just rumours. but i know when it hits you that close, it's hard to stay level-headed and 'calm' and allow justice to take its course. easier said than done.

where to get the report

Thanks to John from ETAN - here's the link for the Independent Commission's Inquiry on what happened here in Timor. It's also available in Portuguese, Bahasa Indonesia, and of course Tetum. On my way in today, i saw a cleaning lady reading a document, with her brows furrowed in concentration. Hours later, i walked past her again and this time she was surrounded by at least 4 others who were keenly listening to her as she read out word by word the report in Tetum. I would say she's about halfway through - probably past the juicy stuff and into the more technical boring literature.

I myself felt that the report gave a lot of insight into what was actually happening on those days 28th APril, 23rd May - 25th May because we ourselves being here and with bad communications and unreliable media and no reliable source of information at that time were not completely aware of the battles being raged up the hills, or even in Tibar or Comoro. Dili is small but not that small. A lot of stuff happening in those corners you wouldn't hear unless you actually ventured out. At least now I know what was all that boom boom boom going on in Becora on 24th and 25th May exactly was about. And the report also clearly stated the ambiguities of loyalties for the Police and Army - we can't anymore say for sure (as before)that the police is pro-alkatiri and army pro-xanana anymore really. the subtleties are really intriguing and insightful. It also broke my heart to think that one of our timorese police friend who was shot was actually called back to the police hq that morning of 25th almost deliberately into the line of fire!

ETAN (East Timor & Indonesia Action Network) has also posted a response at this link I haven't read it as yet so i won't say anything except that I'm not from ETAN and linking this does not represent my personal views! ;-)

Calm for now

For now that is. Last night we all sped home bracing ourselves for some violence but like what the UNPOL chief said everyone's probably reading the report for its final details and has yet to react or mobilise a group reaction to the report. Me too. I have only just read the summary page which names some names like Rogerio Lobato, Mari Alkatiri, Paulo Martins, Xanana, Roque Rodrigues, Tau Matan Ruak. No surprises really but everyone's waiting too for a judiciary response from the government as a test of its political will. The President has also appealed once again for political parties not to use this to create more trouble. You can get your hands on the report for 79 pages of reading at the UNHCR website. Sorry i don't have the link now but will update this blog once i do. It's quite a pain to hunt for it!

Rabbits & Chickens

so everyone's waiting for D-DAY when the results of the independent commission's inquiry will be released. Apparently the delay in the release has been due to the commission's decision to translate the findings in 4 languages - Portuguese, English, Indonesian and Tetum. A really good idea i must say because publishing it in Portuguese would probably mean 5% of the population will understand anything! An interesting report by the International Crisis Group has been published - so if you want the lowdown on the Timor crisis - click on this link : Resolving Timor-Leste's crisis. You will find some interesting references to rearing rabbits and chickens, soap and handwashing (without particular concern to hygiene!), and monkeys.

ain't a burning plastic bag

This ain't so flamin' plastic bag! it's a "kong ming deng" or Kong Ming Lantern which is kinda like a hot air balloon. (And my blog entry is resembling its haphazard flight path cos of my tech illiteracy!)
I've always been fascinated by how it works and finally one day, SM brings one home and showed me how it works.


it's real simple. Just make a light weight lantern out of plastic, make a ring at the bottom, with a very light candle and wick - light the candle and let the hot air fill up the plastic bag and then give a light push.
once the hot air balloon catches a slight wind, off it goes flying to the moon! It was a pretty sight and at least one nice evening to cheer us all up! Hurray to Kong Ming who must have invented this lantern if not why is it named after him? Anyone knows?

Foamed

Okay the foam was delivered to Bali 3 days after I arrived and then was sent up to UBUD where I had a most wonderful few days staring out into green ricefields... ahhh... the life.... It was quite surreal plonking down with my luggage and sitting at the verandah of the guesthouse and enjoying the sight of green stalks of rice swaying in the gentle breeze...the cliche however didn't last too long and soon I was back on the plane and back to ET.

Sometimes it's more cruel to take a break as it leaves me wanting more...in fact, i am still experiencing a bit of the returning blues -- from being able to lounge in a cool restaurant, and walking the streets of Ubud at night alone, to having WIFI --- to being back in 'house arrest' or sorts every night here in ET. I know there are people who still go out for dinner etc but hey these are people with cars and big brave hearts. I only have my 2 'kars' or legs (in Hokkien!) and i have courage of a mouse!

It's also getting a little discouraging to hear news of killings and fighting every single day. I can sense the morale really creeping far south for my Timorese friends. Just 2 days ago, someone was knifed to death outside the Fitun Maubara supermarket in Colmera. That afternoon i passed by and there was a pool of blood outside the supermart -lying next to it was a stack of styroam boxes -the victim's shopping.

But we have to keep our chins up! LUTA HAMUTUK (struggle on!). Well, at least the magazine i'm working on is looking rather good thanks to our 1st class designer. I'm turning 31 too.........gosh.... time flies....i hope my birthday won't be too 'bloody' cos we're expecting big trouble when the Independent Commission of Inquiry is announced next week.

lost and FOAM

i was going to upload some nice futuristic looking pictures of the new Thailand airport suvarnbhumi or something like that .... except that the people there LOST MY POLYFOAM!!! argggh...... if you read my previous entry, i had gone ALL the way to bangkok to buy polyfoam (ok it was for the workshop but still!) and then after spending time and money buying it and hauling it around with me in Bangkok...... the PEOPLE there lose it.... argghh... i think by the end of the month, the new airport will have enough "LOST" ( and never found) items to fill an entire warehouse...
the irony was that while on the nice plane to Bali i had been thinking "hmm what should i do with the polyfoam while in bali? store in at the airport until i leave or what?" well, my stooopid question was answered unfortunately with the foam lost in transit somewhere. maybe it's on its way to Dubai??? or London? Sigh. so it looks like i might have to buy some foam here in indonesia instead.
Bleh.....

tumbled into Bangkok

wah... i m like a jungle bunny here in bustling Bangkokkkkk! it's scary actually. this morning i took a walk out from my (terribly overrated and horribly ugly and expensive) hotel BANGKOK CITY INN (don't go there!) randomly towards the main shopping stretch and even at 8am, people were jostling in the narrow sidewalks buying fake goods! can't believe the spirit of entreprise and the great consumerism here. i forget what it's like in singapore - except in singapore we really don't have people buying fake Pradas at 8am. the streets were also packed with itinerant hawkers selling all sorts of unhealthy deep fried stuff that i could only watch but cannot taste cos i'm still recovering from a sore throat from last week's vitriol-induced illness. i finally got onto the light rail and headed towards the central pier and hopped onto a a VERY slow boat to Phra Athit Road where UNICEF's regional and thai office is strategically located along the Chao Praya river. I got there, met a thai colleague who brought me shopping for POLYFOAM CORE (yes... we don't even have these in timor) but K did remind me that it's a good thing too cos the foam core is really unenvironmentally friendly.
after a brief shower (rain i mean!) and a very light lunch, i went to shop! or i thought i would. what did i pick up? hmm... pills for my incessant phelgm and chesty cough. bleh... everything looked so expensive and glossy and loud. I really forget what sleepy timor does to one. now i understand why when i once brought my parents out for a movie back in singapore, they asked me why the sound was so loud and i laughed! now i have a buzz in my ears from all the traffic noise blended with arcade effects, and promotional ads that run nonstop in these malls.
all afternoon i wanedered aimlessly in the malls, searching for a fine pair of leather sandals that would suit my feet - something low and yet classy. nope couldn't find a pair that was like that OR everything was too big! i was even prepared to splurge on a pair of Clarks if there was a good pair. oh well. too bad.
i really have not walked so much in a long while - i have forgotten what atheleticism in a city is. luckily i wore my comfy sandals - also no nonsense but already looking rather well worn. it's refreshing to get out of dili once in a while - reminds you of how reality for different people can really b extremely unsimilar. while i am glad to have a break out of dili and from hearing depressing reports everyday of fights, stone throwing and stabbings, i kinda miss the ocean waves that pound ceaselessly as i fall asleep to its rhythms. one day away, and i already miss Timor - yikes - have i really become a jungle bunny????

Busy B

How long has it been since I had the luxury of time to open up the blogger page? Loooong. So looong i nearly forgot the password to my site! and last night, i had a dream that people left comments on my blog that they're longer visiting my site cos it doesn't have anymore Timor updates. Yikes! I wrung my hands in despair in my dream and vowed to wake up to do something concrete. So here i am - 9am on a saturday morning - in the office typing away, listening to Stephanie Sun croon away.
The truth is, i've been wanting to say a lot - my mind has been racing with thoughts except i never had the time these days to put them all down - sooo busy sometimes i do0n't even log onto the internet the entire day and then it's 6pm time to go home before it gets dark. SO i leave home with thoughts boiling over in my little brain and with no outlet - no wonder i fell horribly sick last 3 days - must have been the excessive vitriol i haven't been able to expunge via the blog.

OKay - first updates on Timor. Since the farcical escape of Alfredo from jail, this country's journalism has slipped many bars downwards. So bad the press is these days, i fear to see what the next headline might be every day the papers are sent in to the office. I hope Jeremy Wagstaff reads this blog cos months ago he asked what the Timorese reporters felt about the whole civil unrest. The fact is that many of them have become LAZY or unethical. choose whichever one suits you. Many of their reports have been lop-sided - going as far as to quote one person, or one party entirely who sling accusations at another and never so much as get a comment from the acccused. It's terrible!

FOR EXAMPLE - Mass for Alfredo. I gawped the day the AUstralian press went on about how the FNJP was organising a mass for Alfredo. I quickly scanned the papers and discovered that there was indeed an ad about a mass for Alfredo in Gleno, Ermera district. It was to 'give courage and power to Alfredo to speak the truth.' I quickly asked a colleague and he checked with the parish priest in Ermera who said, 'it is just propaganda. the mass is for those who died in the unrest.' so obviously the church had been hijacked for political purpose here. I feared that the Timorese who largely see the church as authoritative would then think that the church was behind Alfredo and thus he is RIGHT. How scary. So why was it that we could easily check with the priest in question but the newspapers couldn't? 2 days later, there was a new ad, this time it was "for those who died in the unrest of Arpril 28 and May 25th and to give courage to those who seek the truth.' AHh..... much better. But still, i wonder how much damage has been done?

Another disturbing thought these days ------------- that many Timorese actually think that Alfredo is not a criminal! their sense of justice is quite different from ours (meaning the west? i dunno!) but perhaps because of their guerilla resistance past, the sense of right and wrong is not aligned with conventional legality. Ok, for example, Alfredo went AWOL with his men up to Maubisse. Instead of being chastised, he was endorsed by Xanana for doing the right thing. IN at least my country, a military commander who takes men away with weapons would be in real hot soup. But ok, considering the great chaos then, let's cut him some slack. And then, on May 24th in Fatuahi, Alfredo fires upon a bunch of soldiers who had come into Dili to collect their pay. He was caught on film counting down and firing on them and possibly killing one. AGain, this doesn't seem to have taken any brownie points from him. And then when he came back to Dili and surrendered weapons, the international forces found 9 more unsurrendered weapons and threw him into Jail. Wait, and then he walks out of jail in an elaborately planned scheme and tells the world that he is not a criminal. Guess what, many highly educated Timorese agree with him! They say, he left because after 30 days in jail no action had been taken and that he had been threatened in jail.

i agree that the justice system here sucks - which is why gangsterism has flowered to take justice in their own hands - and why men like Alfredo are revered. So far, even though Alfredo and many others have critised the incumbent but have not submitted any real concrete action plan. ironically, when Mari Alkatiri was in power, Jose Ramos-Horta said that he himself was more suitable. Now, Alfredo says Ramos-horta is no different from Mari and that he Alfredo can do a better job. Oh dear. Sounds like a broken record.

i ask my Timorese friends, so what is it that they want as a nation? More violence? They must stand up to DENY violence if they want this nation to thrive. UNfortunately, this small half island has been taken hostage by all different interests and of course its predators have jumped in to take advantage of the rocky situation.

TIMOR TIMOR! Were the lessons of 1975 not hard enough?

Phew, all that vitriol spent. more to come soon. now gotta get back to work. TA

4 september

Last Monday, when I went back to Becora, I was greeted by seemingly endless rows of candles on both sides of the road. Their flames flickered brightly ing in the pitch darkness as the electricity was off - creating a beautiful ghostly scene. Children were lighting up candles and gathered outside their homes chatting - we almost forgot that we were still in a 'crisis'. Somehow Becora has emerged to be one of the safest neighbourhoods in recent months. The candles were lit to remember the many who were massacred on 4 September 1999 by the militia when Timorese voted to have their own independence, after 24 years of Indonesia rule foisted upon them. Apologies for the bad photo but I ain't got a fancy camera or a tripod! Anyways, it's poignant to think that now, the nation has once again plunged into dark times. Yeah, these days, it's a little more stressful working when at the back of your mind, you're wondering when the next trouble spot would be. This afternoon, i was at Alola Foundation interviewing the First Lady when 2 youth gangs (yup of course loro sae versus monu) began stoning each other just on the road outside. Apparently this has been happening everyday. The international forces say they need hard evidence to capture anyone but with ROCKS come on who are we kidding??? The police told Alola staff that witnesses were not enough so they'll have to snap a few photos of the troublemakers themselves before any real action can take place. Oh well..... anyways, i better get going. These days, it ain't safe on the streets after dark.

fatuk

here's the blistering bugger that's been creating so much chaos these days in Dili. yeah, that's it - you looking at it - that FATUK - available in infinite numbers and unclassifiable as a weapon - yet if anyone has ever been hit by one, he or she'll attest to its sheer strength to draw blood. These days you gotta be careful - malae (foreigner) not excluded - some terribly bored and energetic boys have been lining streets hurling stones at passing cars - so these days it's not uncommon to see cars with shattered windscreens - it's too expensive to replace! In fact, it was only when a friend stepped on the accelerator that she narrowly missed her car becoming a statistic. The other day, we had to call the police after seeing a row of boys outside the Australian compound randomly attacking cars. Geezzz... what do you do with these kids? You can take away slingshots or katana but how can you take away FATUK????

On a lighter note, today someone wrote an email with the headline "XXX bitten 2 year old child..." I was of course lured to read the email first amongst the 25 waiting for my attention. It was fascinating reading about how XXX bit the 2 year old while XXX was trying to arrest the toddler's father. I was shocked - walked over to a colleague who had received the same mail and said, "did you read that???" Minutes later this colleague walks by my desk and said, "it's BEATEN not bitten." ???? Oh ya? I re-read the email and gathered finally that it was meant to be BEATEN but the person sending the email had wrote as BITTEN mistaking it to be the right word. How hilarious! It was funny cos that would be like a man bite dog headline story. But now after laughing about it, i'm thinking of the actual "XXX BEATEN 2 year old" - shucks such violence taking place here. If it's really true, something really needs to be done. As you may have gathered the XXX refers to an international force here - a highly frustrated international force which has been encountering so much difficulties with law enforcement here. The youth gangs simply playing cat and mouse with the beefy guys - scattering in seconds into their warrens when the coppers come. Interestingly, a Timorese frined told me that Becora where i used to live has become very safe now because a local gang leader (i can't mention his name!) has told all the young people to stay out of trouble or else... (what else??? but his fist!) so ironically in the face of greater violence, the youth in Becora are actually toeing the line and the area is now pretty quiet compared to the rest like Comoro and Colmera. So maybe the government needs to recruit these gang leaders? Strange huh?


Finally, as a goodbye - i treat you to these super yummy lobsters which my ema-bot (or big boss) bought when we were on our way to lunch on Saturday. 3 lobsters for USD30. Absolute HEAVEN. Slurp. Burp.

tumbleweeed thinks...

There has been a renewed rash of violence in the past week with stonings and fires. I have even heard that a Malae who stays with Timorese from both East and West had their rented house set on fire and all their belongings stolen. a group of IDPs in the Jardim (opposite Hotel Timor) have become very unwelcomed guests in the Colmera sucu so much so that the Xefe de Sucu has even annoucned that he wants them to go - this is because there have been quite a bit of stones being hurled from that camp and even broken windows of cars passing through that area. Some young people in Bairro Pite have even carried big placards saying that they don't want to accept any Easterners.

So what should be done?

It's strange that i should be saying this - but i think what the government needs is a great mouthpiece to spread its propaganda - or in a less biased way - spread INFORMATION. There's a lack of accurate information dissemination in this country - lots of people rely on LIA ANIN ("windy words") or GOSSIP - and statements repeated through a chain of whispers until they become distorted and incendiary in some cases.

So if there's one thing this government should learn - is to look to its neighbours to see how they have so carefully crafted their own information ministries and built up government newspapers, radio and tv stations to spread THEIR news. Why am i saying this? Because i believe this government is trying its best but too few people know exactly what it's doing.

Take for example, on 2 august President Xanana held a meeting with 18 NGOs to discuss how they could get young people from East and West to assist in reintegrating IDPs and creating dialogue for peace building -----GREAT INITIATIVE but what the government needs is a strategy to communicate all this to the folks at large - remember most don't have a TV or even a radio set - besides the fact that most of Timor is without electricity! So besides engaging the media - there must be other channels for communicating news, information and generating feedback.

GOOD WORK needs to be trumpeted ---- so there's a pressing need for communicators and social mobilisers to get involved! Here's one time when i accept that propaganda is fully needed!

OH by the way, this is an APOLITICAL weblog. Someone posted a statement in Tetum on my comments page asking me to translate it into English. MY tetum ain't great but i could figure out what it was roughly. SOrry to say, i've deleted it cos i don't want my blog hijacked by others to spread THEIR propaganda. If you want to let the world see your thoughts, set up your own blog! ;-)

brrrr and grrinnnnn

this little girl was amongst many bathing in a big hole in a road in Baucau.. it was so cold!

i'm so shyyy
Originally uploaded by tumbleweeed.

apparently someone had placed big rocks in the river upriver so as to create a greater flow of water downhill.... and someone dug up a HOLE in the road where the water has spilled - creating a SWIMMING POOL in the middle of a road ... see this picture!

baucau tomatoes

been so busy i haven't had anytime to blog or much energy to think! Went to Baucau in a day and back! Arggh... my butt still hurts from the 2.5 hours journey there and 2.5hrs back! Monday i go to Baucau again - this time with Indra my colleagues, for a 2 day session with our community volunteers to envision the setting up of Adolescents information centres out in districts. How exciting! For now, just wanted to share this juicy picture and by the way, i bought that stack of tomatoes with the small bright red one at the top! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!

through the eyes of the children

a sample of some drawings by children when we asked them to paint what they think of Timor-Leste generally. A picture speaks a thousand words, huh?

Her World....

Blogger Afny left a long comment on my previous blog entry after she read about my blog in the latest Her World magazine. Frankly, I'm surprised that the Her World interview that i agreed to in June has actually reached at least ONE Singaporean reader. So thank you HERWORLD! I had agreed to be interviewed because I had hoped that this mainstream women's magazine might give me some subterfuge (amidst the endless pages of glossy adverts!) so that i could spring upon unsuspecting readers with my 'covert' views.

I had hoped that more Singaporeans especially women would stop thinking "if only i could....." or "I wish i could...." and instead tell themselves "I will!". Too many days and months and years have been wasted from thinking of "should i? would i? could i?" and too little time spent on DOING IT.

Of course when i first agreed to be interviewed, i did not realise i also had to endure a lengthy photo shoot - with makeup to boot! Initially they put on this slinky, black branded top on me and a chunky gold necklace that weighed my neck down, and asked me to pose against a gritty wall looking 'cool'. haha, i think after a while, they realised that it's just NOT me! So they gave up and told me to wear casual singlets instead and my own jeans.

One thing to clarify though. I am NO LONGER a volunteer with UNICEF, instead working as a communication consultant - basically doing the same work (and more) and with greater responsibilities. Many organisations now would rather not have international volunteers here as the perceived risks are still there. At least as a contracted staff you get evacuated should anything happen again.

Okay maka ne'e deit (that's all) from me today on a sunny sunday. back to work! Yup........

gone with the wind

autumn in dili?
Originally uploaded by tumbleweeed.

this is how many parts of dili looks - scorched, brittle, brown, dead, razed. of course, new life springs forth quickly from the dust - it's how nature is - how humans are. yet ... there is some sadness ... especially when a colleague returns to his razed home for the first time to see his house - and returns with only a handful of photo negatives and a colour photo of his daughter. that's all he has now, after having spent five years of his life reconstructing his grandmother's house (which had been razed to the ground post 99 by militia) and now, that's gone too. In 1999, his many books were burnt, now in 2006, the same again. how can one not feel hopeless? how do the many timorese affected by this violence feel about the future? do they even dare to think of what next year might be like? i'm sure many would hesitate to invest in any material possessions - unlike so many of us in comfy, safe singapore where our lifestyle is about accumulating wealth, properties, material goods. the timorese have no choice but to focus on what's most important - that the lives of their loves ones were not lost. that's how basic living is like here. you don't ask for more.

metinaro camp

locally-designed kitchens

Following the troubles in Dili, thousands of IDPs fled from the city out to the districts and one of the places they have congregated in is opposite the F-FDTL training camp in Metinaro. There're about 7000 IDPs living in a huge piece of land, and like in Dili, the area is now dotted with hundreds of white UNHCR tents. But because you can't cook inside the tents, the IDPs have taken to using local materials to build their 'dapur' or kitchen with palm fronds and sticks.

Paper toilet
filing cabinet

Bathrooms constructed out of whatever materials the IDPs could find... the one above is made out of used UNHCR boxes, while the more sophisticated maroon-coloured bathroom is actually made out of FILES! Yes, i dunno where they got them, but someone made sure that they were all of the same colour! And why are they not using the copious amounts of tarpaulin distributed by aid agencies? Apparently - according to a source - some supplies had gone missing under the management of a previous team of volunteers who are IDPs at the camp. Since then they have been replaced with a new team of volunteers whom i saw putting up tents (donated by PLAN intl) for the doctors who visit everyday.

At the camp, i met a young man called Santiago. he spoke good english and was a university student at the UNTL until the crisis. He lived in Becora - where my place was! - and had fled to Metinaro after he was attacked three times. It was really sad hearing him speak of how his neighbours and friends whom he had grown up with attacked him during the height of the emergency - he is so confused - like so many others - he doesn't know why he was attacked and who manipulated others to turn on their friends and neighbours - he wants to come back to Dili but is fearful. He told me that he still believes it's not an ethnic clash but a political struggle gone awry. He said there are 'westerners' too living in the Metinaro camp but nobody harms them or targets them...

this is what Timor now needs to look at - peacebuilding. How to restore respect for one another? since returning, i read Kirsty Sword's "A Woman of Independence" and was saddened by how everything she and Xanana had wished then was not to be now. She had quoted Xanana as saying that once Timor was independent, there would be no more violence and bloodshed in this country. I am now reading John Taylor's book on Timor's history too - and again, during the struggle for independence, the resistance fighters had stressed that violence would end only with independence and on the contrary, the Indons had said that an indie east Timor would be a destabilising force and might spiral into civil unrest. HOW IRONIC is this? and how sad....

slowly slowly

let peace come to Timor!
Originally uploaded by tumbleweeed.

I have heard that the Art Group Arte Moris is the 'culprit' behind a rash of graffiti in town ---- so i took a walk along the beach yesterday and saw that indeed, someone, or somebodies have indeed painted the town 'red' blue green, yellow - whatever colours in order to restore some colour, gaiety, and positive energies back into this town now crowded with displaced people. This used to be a dull blue hoarding for a piece of land undergoing construction, now loud, graffiti-styled words in Tetum calling for PEACE, LOVE, STABILITY, and ONE TIMOR shout out from it. This is just next to FreeFlow the dive shop and very hard to miss. Arte Moris (i am presuming)has also put up cheerful banners on some other streets to remind people to BRING PEACE (Lori Paz) and generally remember that Timor must be one.

While walking along the pantai kelapa, i also noticed many more families out on the beach eating ikan bakar, ayam potong and of course batar nurak (soft grilled corn). Hmmm.... the food here is so delicious - especially when freshly done - the chicken meat so juicy, the ikan so crispy, the batar yummy! But if you're used to a life of 'sterilised' food, don't even look at how it's prepared --- but i hear that ASH is pretty sterile hahaha. Yes, that's how they cook your corn - they place it standing up on the ash.
I also couldn't resist a photo of this cutest boy playing in the water with his mom looking on at him from the shore. It's nice to see such scenes once again in Dili. So, LIFE is getting back to normal - more traffic on the streets - more people out in the sea at low tide picking up morsels of yummy seafood - but for now, the camps remain full of people at nights - still preferring to err on the side of caution. How long will these camps be here? Only GOD knows.

rosaries for peace

Photo by Armando Lay.

Last Saturday, I passed some 200 rosaries made by OUR LADY'S ROSARY MAKERS - a group of Singaporeans who handmake rosaries - to the Saint Bachita Orphanage (picture) and the Salesian Sisters in Comoro who are running an IDP camp right now. They were really glad to receive them and were surprised that they had been handmade by Singaporeans! Salesian Sister Lubelia said they pray every evening and the rosaries would be great gifts to uplift their worn spirits. Thanks to the generous friends in Singapore who made these gifts! The children at the orphanage prayed for the wellbeing of the Singaporeans who thought of them during this time. Prayer heals!

Saving lives with Nutritional Screening

By Bridgette See

Dili, 1 July 2006 - As little Nevia Nunes huddled close to her mother’s breast, her eyes were half-open, her face a picture of exhaustion. The 15-month-old had cried for a long time before succumbing to fatigue. Nevia was one of the three severely malnourished toddlers identified at the Don Bosco IDP camp today.

PHoto by Armando Lay

“She was able to walk and stand on her own before the crisis. But since coming here, her condition has worsened,” said her mother Maria Santina da Conceicao. The 28 year old mother of three was also malnourished during her pregnancy, a likely reason why Nevia was more vulnerable.

The family fled to the Don Bosco school when troubles began in late April. Staying at the shelter for two months has taken its toll on Nevia. Her family sustains her mainly on porridge and sometimes vegetables when they can afford it. She is also living in an overcrowded camp where an estimated 14,000 people have been displaced from their homes. Despite the best efforts of camp coordinators and humanitarian aid workers to keep the camp clean, children are still most susceptible to infections and diseases. As a result, coughs, malaria, and acute diarrhea are amongst the most common illnesses spreading through the camps now.

“She sleeps with the rest of us on the floor here,” said Maria Conceicao. “At night, when the wind blows, it’s cold. And even though we have a mosquito net, she still gets bitten.” Nevia’s mother pointed out their mats which were laid out on a corridor, next to a drain and sheltered by a piece of tarpaulin.

Little Nevia is now severely underweight and suffering from acute diarrhea. This prompted the doctors to send her to the Dili National Hospital for treatment immediately.

This is what the Health ministry and humanitarian aid workers fear would happen to more children as Timor-Leste enters its third month of emergency. Before the crisis, Timor-Leste was already the most undernourished country in the Asia-Pacific region. Around 50 per cent of children below 5 years old are underweight, with 14 per cent severely underweight and 48 per cent stunted.

In response, the Health Ministry, supported by UNICEF and other NGOs , launched a Nutritional Screening on Friday 30 June 2006 in order to identify children who are malnourished and intervene before their health further deteriorates. The campaign’s target are the estimated 10,000 children aged 6 months to under 5 who are living in the 66 camps in Dili.

The assessment team saw 70 children at the first camp yesterday and another 300 at Dom Bosco today. They used a simple strip to measure the mid-upper arm circumference of the children to check their nutritional status. Those who appear to be malnourished had their weight and height taken as confirmation. Those whose weight for height percentage fell below 85% were referred to the doctors from the Health Ministry for further checks.

More than 40 out of the 300 were referred to the doctors, and five sent to hospital for further treatment. Lukas Sarmento is another child who will be given therapeutic milk to increase his weight. The 2year, 8 months old boy has been sickly since birth.

Photo by Armando Lay

"A doctor told me Lukas had very low chances of survival when he was born but we've never given up hope on him," said his father Carlos Sarmento. Although clearly underweight, Lukas remains bright and cheerful, playing peek-a-boo with the reporter while his father was being interviewed. He is still able to run and has a healthy appetite.

It is not an entirely gloomy picture in the two camps visited. Many children were healthy and had bright alert eyes. Their mothers continue to breastfeed and there is no food shortage at the moment. The Ministry of Labour and Community Re-Insertion and the World Food Programme have distributed enough rations for everyone at the camps – from rice, corn-soy blend, oil to sugar. WFP said it has held cooking demonstrations to show parents how to make use of the fortified corn-soy blend.

The nutritional screening by the Health Ministry, UNICEF, and its NGO partners could save lives but it is not without challenges.

“There is an urgency to identify the severe cases quickly, yet at the same time we are faced with the dilemma of whether we can assure them the quality treatment,” said Jennifer Barak UNICEF Project Officer for Child Survival and Maternal Health Care.

The reason is that only 60% of the National Hospital staff has returned to work, and the hospital grounds have turned into an IDP camp. Severely malnourished children should be isolated so that they will not be exposed to infections while being treated.

Dirce Maria Soares, who is the Nutrition Officer from the Health Ministry, said: "We have asked our colleagues at the hospital to prepare for this but they are now coping with limited staff, limited equipment and overcrowding. Perhaps when more IDP camps are built, those staying in the hospital grounds will move away, giving more space for the families of malnourished children to move in and accompany them.”

For now, the best solution has been that only the severe malnourished children with complications are sent to the hospital while the rest are treated by doctors based at all the IDP camps. The Health Ministry together with UNICEF and its partners are exploring the possibility of treating those who are severely malnourished but have no other complications at the camps with ready-to-use therapeutic foods or upgrading community health centers and their staff into day-time feeding facilities.


* NGO Working Group: Hiam Health, WorldVision, Oxfam, Care, Concern, Health Alliance International, Christian Children’s Fund, UNICEF

life is gradually becoming normal

the first few mikrolets i saw on the streets since the day I returned to Dili! I never thought i would feel so much joy seeing these micro-mini buses hog the roads! But yes, this would be one of the barometers indicating a gradual shift back to normality although last night there was still at least one incident of house burning and stone throwing.

most of the IDP camps are stressed by the overwhelming number of people living in it so the toilets etc are either out of water or broken or not enough. when i visited the Motael camp, the women told me they bathe at the well in their clothes because it is too tiring for them to haul water to the bathroom to shower. So they bath their kids there like in the kampong except that this is in the city! Some of the camps are right smack in the city centre - one in front of Hotel Timor! - so they really lack privacy.

- Hanging out washing at the airport IDP camp.

Photo by Armando Lay.

This boy here is Lukas - he's not shy, but was playing peek a boo with me when i interviewed his father yesterday at the Dom Bosco camp. He was one of the three children identified as severely malnourished and needed to be sent to the hospital for treatment.You know how they say, every cloud has a silver lining? I think that if not for this emergency and them being at the camp, Lukas may not have been identified as malnourished and put on treatment until it's too late. Lukas was very bright despite clearly underweight. Thankfully there were many other children who were healthy, very bright clever eyes. 'Matenek los!' i have to say.

I went to the Canossian sister's IDP camp on Friday and met a girl who was in the English mass choir. She came and hugged me. She had lost so much weight but still had a smile on her face...

Photo by Armando Lay.

Clothes of some staff living in our compound, some of their homes have been destroyed by gangs, while others do not dare to return home as their other relatives have fled to the districts.

Will blog more when i have the time! Don't forget Timor!

Peaceful ---- so far

There was great tension today as Dili residents fearfully awaited for the 200 truckloads of demonstrators from the eastern districts to arrive. These protestors or so-called 'Alkatiri supporters' had been held off at Hera and Metinaro for nearly two days by the foreign troops so as to prevent a face-off with the westerners who had hung around from last Friday till yesterday. Apparently, Xanana appealed to the westerners to leave. This afternoon, the demonstrators were escorted into the city by the foreign troops promising to be peaceful. Not wanting any trouble, the troops had searched them one by one to make sure that weapons were confiscated before allowing anyone into Dili. This took a long time and it was only at 4pm did we see the protestors ride by outside the office, raising the brilliantly beautiful Timorese flag and shouting their slogans.

STRANGELY, for people who were supposedly calling for Xanana's exit (as we had heard), they were shouting 'Viva Xanana! Viva ALkatiri!' all in one breath! They certainly behaved rather differently from the guys I saw a few days ago who had trundled down Becora - led by a noisy motorbike rally, and many honking vehicles, shouting, screaming youth (including women) some painted in white, red and other colours. In contrast, these guys here (as far as my few minutes' of seeing them rumble by) were a lot more subdued. The trucks, it seemed, were not as packed. The guys less energetic. So far, there's been no news of violence from them. They'll be parked near the port tonight - presumably under heavy guard just to ensure there'll be no trouble.

Let's see what tomorrow or tonight will bring.

censorship - how much of an evil is it?

Back in Dili now, I initially rejoiced because the day I started work Mari Alkatiri resigned from his post ---- and people were happy. But then yesterday, troubles began again after he met his supporters in Hera (east of Dili city) and made more incendiary remarks about east versus west. The foreign troops are trying to keep the big groups of protestors apart, and keeping the easterners out of the city parked in Hera.

But right after Mari's remarks on TV, like 5 minutes after, the stoning and burning began again. Once again, the westerners in Dili are targetting their eastern neighbours.

I keep hearing news from outside. Like the handful of journalists from RTTL attacked this morning as people think they are Mari supporters for putting out the news. It makes me wonder if sometimes censorship to some extent is necessary. Instead of broadcasting his speech in his entirety, could they not have paraphrased what he said and perhaps lessen its inflammatory impact? It doesn't help that the politicians here shoot themselves in the foot all the time with their words, and now there's also the media simply publishes everything under the sky.

When do we draw the line how much 'news' we report?

hein hela

i'm twiddling my thumbs here at home, waiting for news that i can return to timor. anytime now they say. but then sometimes, they call and say, no don't come, something's brewing. other days, when peace seems to hang briefly, the outlook is more positive... but generally it seems that those i speak to know that this peace that is suspended over most parts of Dili is an artificial one, hanging on the threads that are the international troops. So while i wait, all i can do is to help to edit the occasional story or press release. But it's hard to stay involved when you're so far away.
I've heard that an ultimatum has been issued to Alkatiri to resign, as well as one to Alfredo to return with his arms. I can't seem to corroborate this with the commercial media so that puzzles me. Anyways, seems like the ultimatum for both A-lpha males to say 'i quit' lands squarely on the same day and thus many people are readying themselves again for a showdown of some sort. Dili might get 'HOT' or manas again. Once again, may i stress that my blog is not a news service and that should anyone have more accurate info, please let me know!

peace march on international children's day

My aunt once said the world would never find peace until men fell at their women's feet and asked for forgiveness.
Jack Kerouac

I posted the famous Beat poet's quote in my blog last October and have now found occasion to repost it again after hearing that there are plans to have a PEACE MARCH in Dili led by a women's network TOMORROW. I learnt this just today from a colleague who is planning to join in to show support. That is the best piece of news yet coming out of Dili which has been subject to gun battles and marauding rival gangs. I really hope that this peace march gets news coverage and that it is successfully and peacefully carried out. Apparently the organisers are motivating women from camps to join in the march - but some are fearful because of their children and also due to the trauma.

I've read before reports that say if women were rulers of nation, there would be less war and less corruption. What those reports were based upon, I'm not sure but I sure know that the Timorese who were wielding guns and machetes were mostly men. Ok, to be fair, I do have a friend who was a former guerilla fighter and she's a woman, and yes, we have heard alot about the female guerilla/ resistance fighters in the Vietnam War, the Khmer Rouge and of course the Timorese resistance. But most times, you have to admit this, it is the MEN who form the majority of the fighting. As for corruption, I can't say but some detractors say it's only because women have not been in positions of authority where they milk bribes. Anyways, what i have seen is that even when families can't afford to send children to school, husbands still clutch handfuls of dollar notes to gamble in the local markets in Timor. Hey, i'm not a man hater but it really just makes me wonder what IF the government had 90% women and 10% men - would it make a big difference? Which country is ready for this experiment?

So what do you think? If all the men in Timor now fell at the feet of their wives, and ask for forgiveness, would peace finally reign in Timor?

Significantly but very sadly JUNE 1 (which is tomorrow) is the International Children's Day - a day that we had been planning in earnest with the Government's Human Right Office and various other partners. My colleagues had begun meeting sometime in March to discuss plans for a national celebration, a poetry contest etc etc etc. A day that was supposed to be filled with happy faces, rousing music, beautiful sweet voices and HOPE. That all just evaporated with the first gun shot.

I'm really glad that some energetic women have still got the courage to put together the peace march, and perhaps that might remind these warring factions to put down their weapons and to consider their children and their future.


VIVA TIMOR LORO'SAE!

where're the timorese reporters?

I read the columnist Jeremy Wagstaff's comment about the dearth of timorese reporting (online) on this ongoing chaos and responded with the comment that a lot of the local reporters i know of are actually assisting foreign reporters at this moment - translating and bringing them to places.

In fact, last Saturday at the airport, I saw photojournalist Suzanna Cardoso who is pregnant still wielding a camera and with the Asahi Shimbun reporter. I touched her tummy, and grabbed her skinny forearm, and said "kuidado" or "be careful". What else could i say? She said she had no choice because with the baby coming, she needed money and this was something she had to do. Sitting next to me was Rosa Garcia who has only one week ago given birth assisting another japanese TV journalist at the airport. And from calls, i know that Francisco who heads the Timor Leste Media Development Centre has been assisting Voice of America these few days. There are many others like them.

in fact, when troubles first began late april, the local PBS called RTTL (radio tv timor leste) was doing an admirable job of reporting on the development of events. They had reporters travelling to the district of Aileu to interview Major Reinado, and rushing back in time for the evening's news. They also borrowed the portable transmitter from Radio Rakambia and went out to the districts in the bid to relay radio and tv news so that those who had ran to the hills could hear the information. At that point in time, there was calm in Dili despite the persistent rumours that civil war was going to take place and that people should desert the city (ok so it did come true eventually but that's something to debate about in another blog) . In fact, a radio team that went to Suai to do so was nearly attacked by a mob for being 'pro-government' by broadcasting news of peace in Dili which was the FACT at that time. So yes, the RTTL has done a really good job considering the odds.

And also because this conflict is close to them - each reporter is either a 'west' or an 'east' and so they also while trying to focus on reporting, have on the back of their minds if their homes are still standing or not. Plus the fact that many are not fluent in english and if they blog or report in tetum, how many would read it?

Anyways, just my personal thoughts. I wanted to share a part of an email i received yesterday from a timorese friend. He told me it's ok to share it online cos i explained to him that people want to hear what timorese feels.NOTE: this was before it was annoucned that the oz troops will hv more power to disarm the gangs.


I was so pleased to receive your calling; you gave me a spirit of life. I
have been staying in the office for 4 nights and don't know yet to return to
my own home.

Our leaders have not come yet to a decision to stop the violence even Ausi
troops are hopeless to arrest those who involved in the crimes instead of
showing power.

My country likes no leaders and no one care to other's life, people killed
each other just like a chicken and no human values exist in the country.