Baby on the loose...

Val's third trip to the library where he's let loose and takes off like a canon. He scurries away without a care after a feed, and heads straight for the section that's obviously not for him. Hey val, you're not 8 years old yet! Come back...



He decides to choose his own book. Picking them out with his fingers, and making a mess basically. He discovers the book ends and starts sliding the metal out of the nook, collapsing books. All the while as he leisurely 'picks' through the books, his frantic mama is busy putting the books back before the library 'auntie' spots the vandal in action.



The kind gentleman pauses long enough from his furtive search for a good book in order to let mama capture one steady shot with her mobile phone camera. Thank you.



He even goes over to the Parenting section and proceeds to pull out more books. Perhaps he is trying to drop me some hints????



This was the book he pulled out....



GULP...

from babe to boy...

it seems like Val became a boy overnight. where did his baby days go? they're lost in a wild mess of crazy moments and now i can't find them anymore! thank goodness for the copious amount of photos i took in the first six months...
Suddenly, he understands us so much more. He points to the door to demand to go out. He protests if i throw a ball at his favourite fish wind chime and YES! he can PLAY BALL now which makes playing a lot more fun than before. He hurls his 8 little balls around the house, scoots around hunting for them, and then throws them whoever asks for them. It's funny when he flings them behind him instead.


Much as i hope he becomes a lil bookworm, i haven't been quite 'regimental' with the book reading. He doesn't pay attention to my bedtime stories anymore preferring to turn the pages faster than my reading so these days, i just scatter a few books on the bed and he'll browse through them, flipping the pages whilst muttering to himself. And of course, sometimes he's more absorbed by the box more than the books. Oh well... at least his mind is engaged.

Ah... time does fly! I am reminding myself to treasure each and every day before boy turns teen!

Confessions of a Coupon/Voucher mom

Okay I confess. i've become one of THOSE coupon/voucher moms. It's a nightmare but true.

I was no spendthrift before i became a mommy, in fact i saved quite a fair bit of my income but being single and having a reasonably good income, i never really kept a calculative tab on my spendings or looked for ways and means to reduce my savings.

These days? I've morphed into a coupon/voucher mom - ever on the lookout for useful discount coupons (Save $3 when you buy a pack of diapers! Save $5 when you buy a tin of mom's milk!) because they DO reduce costs despite how AUNTY they are. Really. I used to scoff at people who scan the papers for good discounts and turned up my nose at sales but now, er-hum, i DO take a second look and try to plan my shopping more strategically. Hey, having a baby can be EXPENSIVE business!

Besides hoarding coupons (I really don't have THAT many of them...), i've also observed that my stash of vouchers have grown. Vouchers from credit card spendings (my trusty Robinsons card gives $30 for every $4800 spent), vouchers from credit card referrals (I only have ONE referral and that was my sis but that got me $30 Tangs vouchers), and vouchers for my birthday ($100 for ZARA from my dearest sista who read my blog about me becoming a househag - thank you!). In my single days, those vouchers would have had NO chance of lingering in my wallet for sooo long. Before you can say 'shopping', they would have gone poof into thin air as i take to the malls to spend them. But now, sadly, even as the stash grows, i find that i have hardly any time to spare for shopping. No, the sport has become quite utilitarian - plan, go, grab, leave. This instrumental approach is either because i've got Val in my ergo and hence unable to try any clothes on, or he's in a stroller threatening a meltdown anytime, or my mom's taking care of him at home and that immeasurable guilt descends on me whenever i go out for meetings and feel tempted to swing by a mall for some mindless distraction.

I never was quite the shopper and so i am amazed how much i actually miss those idllyic days of going about malls on weekdays (! yes, i used to love my off days which always fell on weekdays and could beat the crowds), or those long afternoons at the bookstores, browsing books and savouring a cuppa coffee. My last trip at Borders was on Saturday when i sneakily went by after my (once a week) yoga session and had to give myself a time limit to grab 5 books before heading home. I was wracked by guilt for that extra time (which went from half an hour to an hour), apologising profusely by the time i got home. Oo and guess what, in my i bought a motherhood magazine because it gave away a cute baby hat. Arggh....

Luckily, all's not lost. Thanks to the internet, i've found a new realm of shopping experience via the 01101010101 codes. I've gone international and have not regretted. They are really some great finds online and international shipping rates have dropped a fair bit. And hey, in that virtual world, there're also ways to reduce costs! Consummate internet shoppers have taught me to 'google' for discount codes before making a purchase, which can sometimes shave off as much as 20% from your total bill. And of course, keeping in mind that one of my credit cards gives DOUBLE points at certain times of the month or year means i now plan when to shop and also to pay for my bill from the university. Truly, i think i now qualify for the AUNTY Hall of Fame.

The only thing now for me to do is to make sure i don't become a virtual shopaholic because those credit card bills - ooo they can give you a big bite in your tush to remind you they're very real....

Exploited WAHMS - stand up and be united!

Ok so Sher and I ranted on the phone this afternoon when we started on the topic of how much we were being paid for our freelance writing. PEANUTS.... really. We totally agree that those blasted magazines run by the two big media companies in Singapore are so absolutely exploiting us - WAHMS - work at home mums. Recently i was offered $300 for a 1200 word article - that's 25 cents per word. Very sad to think that this is how much they value our writing. So did i take up the job? YESSSS.... wait wait, it's not like i'm desperate for that moolah (note: they can take up mooonths to pay us); no, it's not that i don't have other writing assignments (note: i have a full time job AND studies); and NO... i am not stoopid, crazy or simply masochistic. The only reason i agreed was because the article is going to be about ALTERNATIVE birthing options - hey, that's my kind of thing and hey, this is a mainstream magazine and a great opportunity for me to brainwash some moms to be open minded and to try in my little way to let other moms know that birthing is not just about screaming your way to delivery. And so, i said yes.... and then no to two other assignments that were just simply too impossible for me to complete.

But that's the story of our lives. At least for some of us, cos i can't presume to speak on everyone's behalf. We write because we do enjoy learning new things, and because we're interested. But i think the mags believe that we're just desperate SAHMs (stay home moms) who have nothing else to do and so won't mind a LITTLE income on the side. Sher and I both agree that hey, that's not US. We were professionally trained in school, plus we are writing from actual experiences and we do pretty good research, AND we do write well (ya la.... this is trumpeting ourselves but hey, we need to stand up and be counted sometimes!). So we do deserve more respect.

And so why are we subjecting ourselves to such exploitation? WHY? Would things help if we unionise WAHMS who write? That's be a first in Singapore! But hey, at least set up a network and perhaps lobby for better rates? Would Singaporean WAHMs take up a stand? Or will they simply say "never mind, lah" and allow the mags to continue dumbing down our rates? Do our words really mean so little?

Do you know other WAHMS who write? Give a shout out! We could arrange a lunch out for WAHMS-WW (work@home moms who write) and see what brews...

KO: Val 0, Swim 1

I wish we could go swimming every time Val needs a nap because those kicks in the water, and the splash splash splash definitely takes a lot out of him - so much so that he quietly succumbed to being in the old/new stroller, and then nodded off on our walk back. Ahh.... it was a nice surprise to see him fast asleep and even funnier with his 'sam seng' style of throwing one leg over the side. Seems like many babies have such habits. He was so KOed by the swim that when we reached home, i just left him in the stroller, switched on the fan, and went for a shower. When i came back he was still fast asleep. Aw... such a cute sight. But it was 6PM so i had no choice but to rouse him gently out of dreamland, and still he tried to nod back to sleep. In the end, that half hour shut eye gave him extra battery to stay up till 9pm.....Argg, swimming can be double-edged fun!

Ad nauseam

Can one get totally sick of doing something? I sure am feeling that way.......... i feel like my fingers are glued to the keyboard, my eyes oh they are sore, and my brains, my brains, my poor frazzled grey matter they are turning into mush..... I should be thankful really that words, they run quite freely from my fingers onto the typepad so when it comes to writing 3000 words essays for school, it's not that daunting a task as compared to someone else who might struggle even to fill 2 pages with text. Yet, it is the seeming ease that sets one up for the fall. You see, now my full time job is also all about words, AND that upcoming internship that i am negotiating with a women's organisation (this is to fulfill my masters requirements) will ALSO be about writing. Why? because every organisation needs a writer, they need stories about their work, and since it's something i do for a living, it's also the easy way out for me. i.e. it means i could possibly complete my 300 hours much more easily by doing something i am familiar with. BUT it also means i pigeon hole myself into a writer's square. It means i don't give myself the opportunity to learn another skill - i had wanted to intern at a women's organisation BECAUSE i want to learn more about advocacy, activism, and management of NGOs. But when you only have 24 hours a day, an energetic child who demands lots of your attention (which i willing give!), it means that a lot of the work is done after dark when the boy is finally asleep. and this means, i have to find the EASIEST way out of everything. and so....i fall back to relying on writing. i do hope the nausea never get so bad, it induces me to hurl

NUTS!

i'm NUTs about soapnuts! haven't even bought them but getting SOOOO excited just reading about them. I got to know about them a while ago but of course, tonight, being the night i'm supposed to study and get onto my second essay of the semester, i chose...er-hum... to procrastinate and went 'daydreaming' on internet (the connection is usually lousy at night, man... tonight, everything i clicked came on straight away! it's fate i reckon).

Anyways, if you haven't heard about soapnuts, go to this, and this websites amongst many others to read cos this is really supposed to be a SHORT blog and not wikipedia :-) Okay, so i'm about to buy my first bag of Soapnuts and then try to make soapnut liquid cleaners out of them (here's a recipe) - they can be used as shampoo, handwash, dishwashing cleaners, car wash, floor cleaners, pet shampoo, etc etc etc..... ANYTHING that needs cleansing really.......I promise that if my experiment works, i shall get more, and give out bottles of this all-natural cleaner to friends keen to have a greener option in their household.

I'm also suggesting that my sis, who has tasked me to find 'green' wedding favours for her big do, to buy the soap nuts and i'll round up a few friends to package them into soap nut bags. Of course, the words on the card would be "WE'RE NUTS ABOUT EACH OTHER!" cheesy right? but soooooo cool too... Soap Nuts Soap nuts.. Soap Nuts... i'm gonna dream about them tonight...(p/s: there's even a soapnut library online!)

I hope the bag i buy will have a few seeds too.... then maybe i can plant my own soap nut bush...

tree tree

and so i turned 33 today....
i had a hair cut in order to snip away all those feelings of haggardness... i know it'll take more than that - a visit to the dentist is still pending, and of course, a relook at my terribly outdated wardrobe. you see, when you have lived in a dusty little citadel tucked away in Asia's corner where everyone else you are close to live out of a suitcase, you start to forget a lil about fashion trends and are content to just rotate your clothes according to which are washed and which are not ironed. Now that i am back in THE CITY, i sometimes feel a bit like my friends' domestic helper when i go out with them, with Val in tow.... Yikes. Anyways, that project - of updating wardrobe- remains a thought until i have a spare moment and LOTS more moolah which i do not possess at this time. Treated my folks - who are THE WORLD'S BEST PARENTS - to japanese buffet to thank them for all the happiness they have given me and for standing by me unfailingly in every instance of my short little life. Being a parent now, i guess i can finally begin to appreciate all the concern they had for me, which were always disguised with lots of nagging. Man... it's tough being a parent - you never know how your kid will turn out even if you try your darnest. And so.... what have i achieved in the past year? I created a life - which i must say, is QUITE an achievement don't ya think? ;-O

my new old stroller

so this is one photo that deserves a special mention because it captures a historic moment. It's the first, uno, primeiro, time that Mr "I hate my stroller" Lay slept in his "new secondhand/old stroller" that I got off a motherhood forum for $55. I had put him in after he fell asleep from nursing. (yeah, yeah i can hear all you Tracy Hogg fans out there "tsk tsk-ing" away for letting him fall asleep at the breast...)

Val has NEVER fallen asleep in a stroller, rather he views them with a strong suspicion so he is never relaxed in one, but super alert, and always checking and making sure mommy's not going to run away and thus strives to stay awake no matter how tired he is. The previous stroller which was a hand-me-down from a cousin had only a three point harness which val learnt how to get out of and would stand precariously on it. A few times, when i looked away, he was already up and hanging onto the handle bars threatening to topple it. So i had no choice but to go online looking for a cheap stroller with 5-point harness. He's smart. Once he acquainted himself with this one, he realised that there's simply no escape for Baby Houdini and thus he has actually learnt to deal with it. Of course i need to ply him with a range of different distractions, and once in a while take him out of it for a cuddle.

Yesterday i took him for a 45 min walk in the stroller, i was definitely ready for a nap after but my lil man, who was yawning non-stop, still fought off the ZZZ monster while in the machine. Although he did sleep for an hour on the bed right after......

Virgin cut

We both desperately needed haircuts but Val got his virgin cut courtesy of our next-door neighbour who has FOUR kids of her own. The expert hairstylist held his head firmly, shaving off his hair which was not very much to begin with but he did have a Tin Tin sorta lock that was pretty cute. I was expecting the lil man to bawl but all he did was to cling on tight and tried to use his free hand to push her away. Her four kids came in useful... they kept coming around to shove toys at Val to distract him. Grandma proved to be quite a good photographer!


Here we go....


Mommy, what's that strange buzzing noise on my head?


Val's whorls....


Rescue me, mom!


Yikes, i dun like my new look but i'm sure ready for some Shaolin Kungfu!

kudos to Deakin

I have to blog this. I have to put it on record that i am so darn glad that i decided to pursue my masters degree with Deakin Uni. When i first started out, it was meant to be my part-time studies while working in Timor, to marry my on-the-ground work with theory. Just after i started my first sem, i realised that i was pregnant and was really scared if i could finish off this 12-credit programme or not. I managed to complete my first semester, working, pregnant and studying two modules. I was soooo tired but it was so interesting and i was rewarded for my hard work with pretty decent grades. For my second semester, i was into my second trimester too, and decided to study only one module. Halfway through, just before my first essay was due, i was down with chicken pox and being in Timor with no broadband home internet access, i had to drop out of the course while being grounded for two weeks in a hot stuffy container home. My lecturer was super understanding, as well as the school administration. With a few emails plus doctor's letter, my entire course fee for that module was waived and that took off a great weight from my mind, and allowed me to carry on my pregnancy without more worries. After Val was born, i courageously/crazily/stupidly took on two modules again - i have no idea how i got through that! Looking back, it's still a patch of haze --- i somehow stumbled through that, and still managed to write freelance for 2 magazines then.

This semester, i had some bad stuff going on in my family, plus i was relocating to Timor, and then found that i had to relocate back to Singapore, all whilst my studies had started. I was filled with so much anguish, and dilemma wondering if i should intermit this semester seeing that i had hardly touched my books. Finally, once i was back in Singapore, i emailed my lecturer and told him what happened. He was so encouraging, and told me to carry on, while giving me a 2-week grace for my first essay. His words really touched me and motivated me to hang in there. There was empathy with capital E, really. Something i really needed at a time of darkness. Recently i got back that essay which i had very bad feelings about - - and got a really decent grade on it! MY ma joked - "Either you're really talented in studying or your university is really easy!" Haha ... okay laugh on. It's not funny at all when you seriously think about it. My ma was witness to my agony in completing the essay. She saw how far behind i was, and how i struggled with a teething baby to try to study and write at home. She is amazed by my grade. So am I.... All i can say is that the person grading my paper really did not penalise my lateness. And i thank her for that. My Ma is also very touched by the university, particularly my lecturer, saying that they are really so encouraging, and accepting of all the struggles that working adult students have while studying. I guess, sometimes when life cuts us some slack, it does feel great, especially when you're genuinely trying your best. That's what i think my lecturer does. He knows that every student of his - - some of them in far flung places, with no internet, with children, working full time, some dealing with war, others dealing with personal home issues --- is trying his/her best. And he accepts that. He doesn't tell you - - that's YOUR personal life, don't tell me about it. He accepts that your personal life does affect your academic life. And so, i am touched and so very glad that i made my choice to stick with Deakin. Thank You PHIL CONNOR.

Last semester I had the privilege to study online with Damien Kingsbury, a rather wellknown academic who specialises in Timor. He was also the advisor to the GAM team that brokered the Aceh Peace Deal and had written a book about the negotiations. Despite his busy schedule, flying here and there during the semester, he was still very much 'present' online, answering questions all the time. It was very interesting to see how such an arrangement allows us to benefit from lecturers who would otherwise not be able to physically teach but have a wealth of knowledge to share. During the course, he had even attended a meeting that discussed the possibility of brokering a peace deal for the Tamil tigers and Sri Lankan government. Made all the studying of regional conflicts come alive. I also had Matthew Clarke for my Microfinance unit - he had himself run an NGO in microfinance so once again, we got a lot out of him - from people who are practitioners and are NOT just academics cloistered in their libraries.

Recently the school has continued to innovate its online course -- adding in a 4-credit dissertation that spans 2 semesters, plus option to take Bahasa Indonesia via the internet which is just evidence of what a progressive university is all about. They are ATTUNED to what working students want. Kudos again, Deakin!

i'm blogging because i have a deadline and i need to distract myself

ironic how the more pressing a deadline, the more the need to be distracted by the million and one thing the worldwideweb offers. So i just spent the afternoon trying to finish an article, while surfing for Klean Kanteens, Built NY neoprene insulation covers, and other cool stuff i am tempted to buy because online shopping is simply toooooo easy these days. Thank goodness i do not live in america otherwise i would be one of those with multiple credit card debts. Anyways, i have decided not to buy anything for now, after looking at last month's bill.

and the photo? Nothing to do with how cute Val is because that's already a given. i just like it because my arms don't look flabby here. Muahahahaha.... although i do look pasty-white thanks to the mineral sunblock i had slapped on. Bah... back to the grind...