It poured when I was in Aileu recently - a harbinger of the rainy season to come. The kids, like those in Cambodia, were splashing in the puddles of water, getting soaked and having much unrestrained fun. I had fun too, watching them under shelter.
The next day when I was about to return to Dili, I lost a purse which I had bought from Cambodia. It simply vanished into thin air. Poof! Like someone had conjured it to another dimension. Even after re-tracing my steps countless times, I was still unable to locate it. It’s a mystery where the little purse went.
I didn’t cry over the purse that went walking with $40, but the loss did put me in a contemplative mood. It made me think of all the things I have lost in the 30 years I have walked on this Earth: pencils in primary school; pens in secondary school; books in junior college; and files in university, etc. There were also friendships lost when pals became strangers as we grew older, and the loss of loved ones when they bade farewell for a better world.
More importantly - and predictably too – the loss of innocence: from carefree bookworm days to stressful adulthood; from a head of black, bouncy hair to graying hairs covered up with poisonous dyes. I no longer have the innocence of a child who finds pure happiness in pouring rain.
While auditing my losses, I realized that they are small, even minuscule, compared to what others have lost or are losing as we speak: the floods in Guatemala, the hurricane in New Orleans, the earthquake in Pakistan, the tsunami in Asia, the bombs in Bali & many other places.
But above all, I realized that the inputs in the column ‘FOUND’ are plentiful as well. On this journey (destination unknown) I have found many new friends, amazing experiences, wisdom, and optimism in each new day. I have found, through painful experiences of loss, richer insights and a grittier spirit. It sounds idealistic - I wouldn’t dare try telling this to someone who has just lost a child in the earthquake. But honestly, while taking stock of my life, I realize that I do have a lot of blessings to count for.
As Tiu (Uncle) Mario – my driver – said to me when I lost the wallet, “It’s ok. The loss is in exchange for good luck.”
Do you wake up each day counting your blessings or your losses?
i lost my cigarettes! poof! two packs--one from Indon and one from Cambodia vanished into thin air. And my keys along with it. It's an omen i think. It's time to quit, or at least cut down huh => take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. It's true, we lose time, our youth and innocence in exchange for something. I guess the trick is to ensure that we exchange it for something worthwile.
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