Challenge Mar/April 2011

Our latest issue...what can I say... it's been a crazy year since we took on this contract. Satisfying but very exhausting. A product we're proud of but it does take a lot out of us. We're entering into our second year and are in the midst of doing an even crazier May/June issue!

Open publication - Free publishing - More civil service

still alive

yes, yes, am still alive despite not blogging for the longest time.
let's just say, Life's been pretty unpredictable and I'm right now in the vortex of great change. Mostly good change, I guess. Change is afoot. I will blog more soon. Meanwhile, be happy.

Challenge Jan/Feb: Design Thinking: Do you have the heart for it?

Open publication - Free publishing - More singapore

My wish for all in 2011

Peace for people and of mind
Poverty to be diminished
Prayers to be said more faithfully
Purpose in life to be clearer
Playful nature to endure
Pleasure in work to be sustained
Perseverance to achieve our dreams
Presence of mind and body for those we love

God bless you....

XOXOXOXO from B+V

A great way to wrap up the year

We met last Sunday at YM's house for a Boxing Day lunch - so glad she had the gumption and energy to organise it! Thanks old pal!

What a great time we had with the simple stuff we did: chatting and catching up, acquainting with each others' kids, giving gifts, gorging selves, singing carols with lyrics from an iPhone, and just merrymaking.

Thanks YM for the great party!


Not the complete brood... most of them have three kids!


Kirsten asks: Why are we cutting cake? YM: Because it's Jesus' birthday


Two amazing (and famous) mommy bloggers together


The monkey who refused to pose nicely the entirely day


Old pal Jason (yes another Jason - Val was mighty confused!): talented musician, dedicated father of 3, wonderful husband of a wonderful woman


So old, we could be fossils... and Val hamming it up

somewhere out there

Isn't it nice to still find a spot of 'kampong' and ruggedness in Singapore? :-) i love exploring places i used to haunt, this time with the boy in tow...

Getting up to Monkey Business

Coupla weeks ago (an hour or so before we did that snow thingamajig, in case you think Val only has one tee-shirt!), the monkey meets his first tree - the Tembusu at the Botanic Gardens - you know, D-one that's on our five-dollar note? Yeah, it's been designated a heritage tree and thankfully the status hasn't made NParks ban kiddies or even adults from climbing it...I love the knobbly patterns on its bark and it reminds me of Enid Blyton's The Magic Faraway Tree.


"Hmm Mommy...Can I go higher please?"


Love this picture - - see the way he used his right hand to grasp the tree trunk or bark? That's a classic rockclimbing hold to get up what we call a chimney... I think he's got potential!



And that left foot - yes! A most intuitive way to support himself on an incline. He's also leaning in to balance himself - all basic instincts - kids have oodles of them, unlike adults who have to 'unlearn' a lot when it comes to climbing. Sweet....!


What's on his mind? Is he fearful? I dunno! But he defo enjoyed himself on his first tree climb! Will be back for more...

I have to admit that every time Val embraces nature like so - when he throws off his shoes, runs through leaves, pokes about with branches, and even 'swims' on grass without a care - my heart sorta skips a beat in a nice way. The thought of him loving the great outdoors as much as I do comforts me so much - and makes me delight in the thought of our adventures to come. Yippeee ey!

SpiderMan dreams

We went to the famed Pasir Ris playground some weeks ago (again, yes we love to hang out there) with some friends and their kids. Val spent most of his time trying to catch the older girl RN who was tearing around madly - and so fast! Both of them were pretty winded after the outing. But the best part was when Val decided he's now old enough to take on the web pyramid (not the tallest one but still pretty tall)and just started clambering up without hesitation.

I don't have pictures of us perched on the web pyramid as my hands were full making sure he didn't break his head. I'd climbed up after him, guiding him up the ropes first, then stepping precariously across the web about 2 metres (?) up, and finally making it down the slide with him. Phew.... my legs were pretty jellied by the end of it all - not cos of vertigo (i used to be a rock climber!) - but by the sheer anxiety that Spidey might slip through the gaping holes and end up like Humpty Dumpty below!

Some pictures of our day out!


Thrilled to be let loose in the park - kids really do love the outdoors!



This one is great for balance and clearly exercises the kids' brains to think of ways to negotiate from one shaky rubber platform to another.



With CS and auntie JH on a mini web trail. He warmed up on this before scooting up a much higher one!



There's RN proudly showing Spidey what he should aspire to do!



Plotting... and having wild thoughts of going up this one!



Spidey went up this way before being plucked off by Mama who helped him find an easier route up. And instead of scampering all the way up north, we exited at the Mid-Levels (haha like in HK) where there's a slide!



RN telling me that she's gone all the way up to the top of this mega pyramid!And Spidey trying to get up too!


Update: Pictures from Uncle TH who captured my anxious face!







Totally the paranoid Mommy! When did I turn into such a wimp?!

Rage

I used to be pretty impulsive when younger but thought that I had put that part of me away as I grew older. I used to pride myself for being incredibly patient even with the most trying people I met - until I met Val.

Oh boy. Does he press some nasty buttons in me. There are bad days when my patience level is at all time low - cos I am sickly like now, or really tired out from work - and every crazy, jiggling move from him seems to drive me off da wall. I tend to think that he behaves so much better when we're alone - somehow i am in better control of myself, and he in better control of himself. It's just me and him - but once the grandparents are in the picture or anybody close to the family are around - boy, the lil man can sometimes go off his rocker so much so that it really pisses me off.

Today was one of those days - fluey as I am - I tried so hard to tell him: Val, Mama's ill, will you please be a good boy? Without a glance, he is off at 180km/h, zooming about, jumping off the bed, crashing headlong into me, laughing his silly head off. Brushing his teeth is a pain in the arse - aiyah - everything he did just seemed so irritable to me. I tried sooo hard, i really did try. I had to raise my voice a coupla times, but luckily I didn't fly into an ugly ugly rage. I managed to teeter on the edge and pull back again.

It's awful isn't it? this whole mama rage thing.

i didn't even know that i had it in me before. It's like a Gruffalo with all its ugly purple prickles, warts, ugly teeth, knobbly knees, and angry orange eyes that I never knew existed. Somehow Val is like the golden key that unlocks it. PHOOWAAAA!!! ROARR!!!



After i put the boy to bed, I flip open my first issue of Mothering Magazine (in my opinion one of the best parenting magazines around - no nonsense, no commercial fluff, au naturel) - and lo and behold what do I see? This article: Managing Mama Rage

It was taunting me with a cheeky nah nah nah boo boo, thumbing its nose with a shake in its bonbon.

Yeah, yeah i know this is meant for me. I read it through and am so glad for it. We are usually taught to count 1-10 right? This one teaches the art of "Snake breath", "bumblebee breath", "birthday breath", as well as the "earth, water, air, fire" series of breath. Different ways to breath out, to dissipate the anger. Children can learn these techniques too.

Most importantly, the reminder that in fits of anger, what we lose ain't just our temper, but control over ourselves.

The writer quotes Hal Edward Runkel of Screamfree Parenting that when parents lose it, it's because we're trying to control our children's behaviour instead of focusing on controlling our own. What we have 'lost' is the ability to calm ourselves down.

Runkel's advice is to say to oneself: I control my own reactions.

This fell like a stone onto my lap. Such simple advice. I know I have been somewhat practising it - - by articulating to Val that I am growing impatient and getting angry. But somehow, I have failed to dissipate the pressure... allowing the boiling anger to froth over.

I need to learn to walk away - to breath - to calm my spirit down. To be in control of myself again.

This whole mothering business is really trying. Have you heard me say all this before? It must be mama amnesia.

Snowed under!

Yes, been literally snowed under by work, and other sorta stuff and not having the time and wherewithal to organise pictures to blog. Lots of pictures stuck in the disk, perhaps never to see the light of day!




Anyways, Merry Xmas folks. The smell of Xmas - the more commercialised version - is all over town. Yes, we even went it all with fake snow at Tanglin Mall - our second year running. It "snows" everyday at 730pm, with an additional session at 830pm on weekends. Bring a change of cloths for the kids!



It's just foam really, but lots of fun - when the snow flurries fly all over, blurring your sight, and making your clothes damp. It's especially nice to hear the unrestrained giggles, laughter, and hoots from kids and adults alike! certainly a highlight for Val... and I!



We'll be back again next year! Unless we're in a place with REAL snow making snow angels... ah, that would be a different matter.












End of the snow session... and Val's slowly saying goodbye

Note to self: Carrying a kid in a sleevless shirt is NOT flattering at all! I have to get those giant batwings off me sooon!

Balloon lollies

Dated 27 November 2010

I would consider this the first complete drawing by Val, as in, this is the first time he has drawn something 'tangible' - entirely by himself, undirected. All i did before that was to show him on another piece of paper that if he drew a circle (which he does well) and added a line below, it would transform into a balloon. He then began drawing these balloons enthusiastically, and colouring them. There used to be a time when he hated colouring - he would scratch a few lines and run off. His teachers said the same, but have also begun to observe that he is now able to focus long enough to finish colouring something, and even makes the effort to colour within the lines too.

When he finished, he asked for assistance to write his name, and then demanded that I added mine on one of the balloons. Hence the pink words there.

The cute thing was that after finishing these balloons, he drew more on another piece of paper, pronouncing that they were now lollipops. Yes, indeed. Why not? Both are objects of delight.

dealing with rudeness

At work, I deal with quite a fair bit of rudeness - being squashed right in the middle of the editorial process. Sometimes the clients are rude, sometimes the writers who are big shots who think they are smart, talented and thus entitled to being rude. It is rather disappointing and depressing because these occasions - much as I tell myself not to be affected by them - do make me ask myself why I am still in this business. I promise myself it won't be long - there's no way I will do this for life - although I do enjoy the act of writing stories, I really don't relish the diplomacy involved in handling clients and rude writers. In any case, I still believe that no matter how amazingly talented you are, it is no excuse to be rude. It's just basic human principles, no?

Are these rude people fully cognisant of the fact that they are rude? Is it worse to be unaware of one's own unruly behaviour or to be fully aware and making full use of it to get one's way? Someone told me before that I should be more assertive - yes I agree, but does it need to include rudeness and arrogance?

Times like these also make me reflect a little more to ask myself: Have I been rude without knowing it myself? Have I been equally arrogant? It is a good chance to take a few steps back and look on.

It's the journey not the destination, silly

Yeap, that's what we told ourselves when we decided to just get tickets from Tanjong Pagar Railway Station to Johor Bahru! I wanted Val to experience what a real train ride would be - something noisier, gruffer, and tougher than those slick subway trains in Singapore. Plus, this station will close down in July 2011, so I thought we'd better get a taste of history before it's gone. But I didn't really want to go far cos nobody else had time for an overnight trip. So we decided to just try out this short journey for the fun of it.

Val absolutely thrilled to be so close to a real choo-choo train.

I emailed the KTM people (callcenter@ktmb.com.my) to ask for a schedule, and they so kindly emailed me the schedule. But please don't take this at face value, always check again because train schedules do tend to change.

>>>>>> EMAIL FROM KTM CALLCENTER

Good Day!!!

Hereunder the train schedules:-
Singapore - Johor Bharu

Express Rakyat ( ER 2 )
Depart 0800hrs and arrival 0912hrs

Express Sinaran Selatan ( ES 12 )
Depart 1300hrs and arrival 1418hrs

Express Senandung Sutera ( SM 24 )
Depart 2230hrs and arrival 2355hrs

Shuttle Train No 62 ( 0845hrs / 0954hrs )

Shuttle Train No 64 ( 1845hrs / 2002hrs )

Johor Bharu - Singapore

Express Rakyat ( ER 1 )
Depart 2002hrs and arrival 2110hrs

Express Sinaran Selatan ( ES 13 )
Depart 1539hrs and arrival 1641hrs

Express Senandung Sutera ( SM 25 )
Depart 0542hrs and arrival 0700hrs

Shuttle Train No 63 ( 1219hrs / 1335hrs )

Singapore - JB - Singapore is considered as a short distance journey.Ticket must be purchased direct at the ticket counter within 12 hours before departure date only.



We got to the station at about 1130am, a little early just to buy tickets cos you know, we're kiasu like that. Plus it was our first time buying tickets there. The KTM Espress 12 tickets were SGD13 for adults - Val got in free but he had to sit on my lap of course. We had lunch at the station's coffee shop - which had seats right next to the rail. No fences nothing. Yup so you can see them as prime gallery seats or rather perilous ones! If you have unpredictable kids, keep a close eye on them and sit further inside.


Val's Godma See Yiing who so kindly obliged to come along!

At 1250pm, the gates opened and we went through a small Malaysian immigration post (yes, strangely we clear Malaysia before Singapore, and there is NO stamp only that white immigration card that you MUST NOT lose) and then got onto the train to locate our air-conditioned cabin No. 1. We had the first row of seats which gave us plenty of leg room and a nice table too. We were palpably excited - okay, it was probably I more than anyone else! I was just so stoked to be on the train again, my last ride was about 4 years ago when I went up to Taman Negara via an overnight train.



The whistle blew and we were off! The train left the station slowly, chugging along, gathering speed gradually. It was absolutely fascinating for the boy, who was perched excitedly on my knees looking at the tracks beneath.



Soon, we were whizzing by, and scenes of rustic (read= untidy, overgrown bushes, dilapidated and abandoned houses, some still made of wood, broken cars, rusty machine parts, and quaint looking neighbourhoods) Singapore sped by. I kept my eyes wide open - as if to absorb them all in, to keep my visual memory of a Singapore that will soon no longer be. But wait, all this is really still Malaysia's land right? I find the idea of Malaysia within Singapore so intriguing - it was as if time had stopped along these tracks. (This reminds me of an exciting walkabout in Singapore I did with a history professor from NUS who led me to the graves of old sultans and a patch of cemetery that still belongs to Malaysia nestled inconspicuously within a HDB estate, but more on that another time!)

For the first 35 minutes or so, we had a tour of Singapore and then we reached the Singapore immigration where we had to disembark to get our passports stamped. With a kid, it means we had to wait in line, unlike Godma who breezed through the automated gates. :( Then we were back on the train, and it began CRAWLING, inching towards Malaysia. When it stopped (rather uneventfully - what were we expecting? Bells and whistles and people shouting JB! JB! JB! ???), we just kinda sat around wondering what to do next. Nobody else was leaving, and then slowly, we gathered, "Shit, it's our stop!" We quickly scrambled out and arrived at Johor Bahru Central stop at about 2pm. Haha. imagine if we had not alighted, maybe we might have gone on to KL!


Val hamming it up for the camera - he was on a high especially after arriving in JB.

At JB Central, we decided to buy the return ticket first and chose the one at 339pm.The KTM Espress 13 from JB-Singapore only cost.............MYR5!!!!! Yes, that's like SGD2.50 when we paid SGD13 to come! The next train at about 530pm was a shuttle, and that would have been............... MYR3!!! Cheaper than taking a bus. So we got our tickets, and went shopping at City Mall or something like that, the mall closest by.

Even though the mall is no different from Singapore's, Val was really on a high. He could sense that today's outing was very different. It was like a multimedia sensory assault on him or something.



Finally, after a quick one hour shopping and ice-cream eating, we hopped back onto the train to go home. The immigration was a nightmare - they opened the gates only at 330pm, and they took forever to process the relatively short line. Those on the train coming down from the North must have waited a long time for us. Plus, we found that the immigration officers had stamped some people's passports with the wrong dates, adding to the delay.

Going up the KTM 13 this time was slightly different. We had NO designated seats. Instead it was a "buffet" you just scramble onto the train to look for empty seats - we had to go all the way to the end where the non-air conditioned seats were. But that suited us fine.



Finally (after what seemed an eternity), the train left the tracks and gathered speed, whizzing towards Singapore where we had to disembark AGAIN, get our passports stamped and go back on again. The good thing was that many people left the train at the Woodlands stop - preferring more modern transportation - while we stayed on, so this time we were able to find lots of air-conditioned seats. Very quickly, in about 15 minutes, we were pulling into Tanjong Pagar and hearing the announcement in Bahasa Melayu welcoming us to Singapore and entreating us to take KTM again.

I can't quite remember exactly what time we arrived, but it must have been about 5pm at least. So we were glad to have taken the earlier train back.

So there, this was our day of bo-liao train ride to nowhere and back.

My itchy backside and I

The headline really sums it all up. I have an itchy backside and it gets me into a lot of trouble, especially when I "think" I am on my summer break from graduate school (yah, I forget I work and study, plus I have a kid). It makes me think i have a lot of time (when i don't) before my next semester starts (March is after all so many gazillion days away, no?) and I start to conjure up visions of what I could do with all that (unavailable) time, and I start to do silly things like promise to give a speech, or volunteer to write for a non-profit's website, or *gasp* consider taking on freelance work on top of my already packed-to-the-brim schedule.

An email pops in from a museum - Would you like to consider writing a children book? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! Do I even stop to consider for one second if I have the time? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Cos these things, you don't stop to think right? You just grab and go, and then whimper a lot and suck it all up.

Then, another email follows *ding*, er, we just won another contract with another ministry, which means, all your end-of-the-year holiday plans are out of the window. And no, you don't have so much free time anymore cos it's going to be another hellish November-December scramble again, like in March when we scrambled to put Challenge together in about 6-8 weeks.

I suspect if I didn't live my life at such a hectic pace, I might feel out of place. It's the city slicker's sickness is it? Or it is it just me? Secretly inside, I must have a death wish; I must really enjoy the busyness, the extreme time management and juggling act, and the impossibility of all the tasks lined up. And when I manage to do them all, the sense of satisfaction is so overwhelming, it short-circuits the brain, and brings on selective amnesia - the type where I remember all the happiness and buzz of doing these crazy stuff, but forget the clenched hair in fists moments when I am all alone in the still of the night huffing away, telling myself never to be so dumb-assed itchybackside anymore.

Good night and good luck indeed, woman.

Smoke out! Time to prepare for year-end partays!

Photo by Evolvefoto for Challenge Magazine, Public Service Division


Smoke Detector by Shah Dillon of BottleFlipz

What’s in it:
Kahlua 30ml • lychee liqueur 30ml • Cointreau 15ml

Shah’s idea:
Raise the alarm with this Smoke Detector. The fanciful swirls of dry ice will wow your guests but once the smoke screen fizzles out, what’s left standing is a plain but powerful drink.

For more drinks concocted with a Public Service twist, go to our lifestyle section: Challenge Online: RAISE THE BAR

Or see the mouth-watering design layout in its print incarnation: DOWNLOAD

On ageing (well?)

A self-portrait on the KTM Espress: Singapore to Johor Bahru, 7 Nov 2010


When I first downloaded this picture, I was arrested by how unforgiving my tiny non-professional camera had been. The sunlight, so intense, had highlighted all the flaws on my skin; the megapixels meant that I could zoom in 400% if I wished and I did - to discover bumps and blackheads I never knew existed, they taunted me, egging me to squeeze them out - if only I could find them. I looked at the mirror - mind you, it's one of those Ikea types where you flip over and get a magnifying glass, and still, I couldn't find those elusive bumps while scrutinising my mug in the bathroom's more forgiving light. I sighed and tweeted this: An unforgiving picture reminds me that scrutiny is futile.

I like this picture: I like how my cheekbones are thrown into sharp relief by the harsh light. It's not a typically flattering shot: a portrait of a gaunt woman, with sunken-in cheeks, tired eyes and skin, not plump with collagen unlike other mommies who blog (you know who you are).

But to me, it's a very real sketch. They say people with square jaws are stubborn and determined, it is so true. I think it might just have to be that we grit our teeth and plod on despite life's most horrible assaults so much so that we develop such an intense jawline. The sharp, square lines exude masculinity - qualities I dare say I have. If nothing else, I sure can compartmentalise things as well as any men... someone once remarked that I was more Man than him.

This picture is also a portrait of someone who's aged tremendously in the past 3 years - motherhood really took a toll on me in more ways than I am willing to share - plus the late nights spent studying, working, freelancing, and sometimes just seeking a little personal me-time like tonight.

I can't reverse the clock - those flaws, those lines will stay, despite what the beauticians say: Try this serum, use that treatment, put on this mask, try our miracle products. The freckles - they have become my trademark almost - my first boyfriend used to call me Freckles See - cos, for an Asian, I have quite a remarkable amount of them sprinkled all over my square face. So no thank you, I don't wish to exfoliate, nor whiten them away - my face is not a whiteboard, but a story. I am heartened by Sharon Stone's latest interview in the Straits Times where she said she changed her family doctor after he suggested she used fillers. Kudos. I look at strong, beautiful women like her and Julia Roberts and remind myself that those lines can be alluring.

Yes, there are times I recoil in mild disgust seeing my awful eye bags and spotted skin captured on camera - and sometimes I sneak in a little BB cream (once in a blue moon) when I am feeling insecure, but most times, I am make-up free, and happy. I am also very lucky to be surrounded by strong, beautiful, and nature-loving women in my life - they are real reminders of what's important: their sense of adventure, their activism for causes dear to them, and their passion for life.

All I really want from life is to be healthy and happy. We pray nightly to God for this for all our loved ones. And so my mission and promise to myself remains that for as long as I am able to, I will continue to embrace exercise of both the mind and body.

Now, off to heal my ageing skin with the best medicine: SLEEP!

Did you fail to give up?

Open publication - Free publishing - More singapore

In our latest issue, we explore the issue of failure in the Public Service. Plus, a tempting spread of cocktails concocted just for the Public Service!

too many to remember

I have a gazillion accounts in the "cloud" - my Gmail, my Hotmail, my Yahoomail, my Facebook, my Twitter, my Dropbox (love it), my iTunes, my Flickr, my e-banking accounts (shhhh - four!), my CPF account, my Deakin student account, my eBay, my Amazon, my Reuseit.com account, my Kooldepot account, and many more I don't even remember I have. It's near impossible to keep track - and good Lordy, remembering the passwords can be a hellish event. The security experts say never to use the same passwords but how can a simple brain keep track of so many different ones? I just end up clicking that "forgot your password?" link each time I log-in to some of these accounts, especially after a long absence. Or I just keep trying all permutations and rely on dumb luck to get through - which is no different from hacking into my own account.

Sophie Vuvuzela

Picture taken Sep 20, 2010

That was her nickname given by her mom when she first came wailing into this world in May 2010. She's now a regular at our place, getting used to the sights, sounds, and smells so that she'll be all right when Momma goes back to work in 2011. She adores Val, cos Val adores her.

You can't tell from this picture but boy, does she look like me. So many people, including strangers, have remarked that there's something in her eyes and expression that speaks Me. Weird. Even weirder - when Val and Sophie make cheeky faces, everyone says it's Me. I'm not cheeky. Really.

Driving Mr SmellyBottom

Auntie KM driving 41-year-old Babs the beetle

We've got two friends (who are close friends incidentally) with vintage cars that literally go rickety-clickety-clack. Both cars are more than 40 years old, and have no seat belts. Pretty perilous to be in, but for the fact that they are not even capable of going beyond 60km. Any faster and I could imagine the cars shuddering and sounding like their screws may loosen and a door might fall off on the highway!


Uncle R, owner of the super mini MG.



According to Uncle R: Real car type: MG; Real car model: Midget
Given type: Campmobile; Given name: Miss Deeeldoe



Even for a toddler, Val knows how special these cars are from other normal cars he's "driven". There's just something so special about vintage cars - their smells, their motion, their characters.

So ever since Val laid eyes on these cars, he's developed a special liking for the owners as well. He remembers their names and hankers to go out with them, provided their cars come along!




Completely stoked riding in the 1962 MG that had a plastic sunroof which was threatening to fly off in the wind. Val kept exclaiming, "Mama, very cold!" cos the wind was so strong when the car was in motion.