Snowball's death

Our office once had a pet rat. She was a colleague's rat but he was going to national service and couldn't care for her anymore so the office adopted her. Snowball was, well, white. Fat. And getting fatter each day.

We didn't know why. I didn't care too much because her tail - that long, pink tail with coils going round in circles - gave me the extreme heebie-jeebies. I couldn't bear to carry her, not with that long thing touching me. Anyways, i digress. So as she got progressively dormant, a kind-hearted colleague, B, our senior manager, brought Snowball to the vet. The diagnosis? She was constipated and would die soon. She was too old for surgery and the medication wasn't able to help her purge all the toxic stuff in her. So within a week, she passed.

Since then i have always wanted to blog about constipation but never found the guts to do so. And also to find time, and perhaps, that inspired moment. Tonight, i found myself inspired to write about constipation.

Not mine. Oh No. I, thank the Lord, have been blessed most of my life with an easy time in the loo. But increasingly i have been been hearing, apart from Snowball's case of immovable bowel, many friends and colleagues suffering from the same affliction.

I have had only TWO cases of extreme constipation my entire life - once, during my Kota Kinabalu climb, and the second, was when I was pregnant. The first occasion was triggered by a monotonous diet of Oreo cookies while gunning for the peak. Being a "heaty" person, it doesn't really take much heaty stuff to clog me up. Suffice to say, the day after the summit, it wasn't the weak knees and legs that i suffered from, but a very constipated ass that endured a painfully long session in the loo. The second time was when I naively took the iron pills prescribed by a kind UN doctor for my pregnancy. See, iron pills are good for women who don't get enough nutrition, but for women like me, it was just waaaay too much iron in the diet. I had horrible horrible constipation and swore off those awful pills right after.

anyways, that's about it. I hardly ever constipate. instead, i am the kind who goes in and out of the loo, done under five minutes flat. I never dawdle, i never read, i never ever wait out a shit. I go when i feel the urge and i leave immediately. I have been told by doctors that i have a great toilet habit. And dare i say, during my treks in the wilderness of Tibet, i used to make "perfect" looking shit like those you see in the cartoons. I kid you not!

But it seems that many other people (family, friends, colleagues) suffer from constipation much more than they deserve. I hear of colleagues who can go ONCE a week. Imagine, all that excreta stuck inside the turns and corners of your guts.

The reasons? Here are the two most bizarre: One of them can't bear to use public toilets so she would keep things in until she's home or on rare occasions, telephones a friend who lives nearby and uses her home loo; the other can't bear the embarrassment of others knowing she's in the loo because our tiny office only has TWO cubicles and it's painfully obvious who's in the loo emitting strange sounds and smells, so this colleague moves her bowels every Saturday morning, in the peace and quiet of her home.

But there are others more: I hear how they try to lubricate their insides, drinking tea, honey, and vinegar, eating prunes, salads, and Chinese medication. Anything, and everything under the sun. Sometimes, the remedies work for a brief period and there's happiness all around. But always, it seems, the remedies stop working soon after. I have tried recommending morning yoga because i know how effective it can be but no one has taken that up yet.

I had a relative who once did an endoscope for another problem, and was told by the doctor that the scope was not long enough for his intestines because years of constipation had stretched his guts tooo long. Incredible.

And so, on a daily basis, i see these people struggle with a problem that literally makes them go green in the face. A colleague was recently down with severe stomach aches cos of her accumulated shit. Imagine that. So constipation is really nothing to kid about. It can get lethal.

I sometimes wonder is it because of our diet that we have become so congested? Is it too much meat in our food? Is it the lack of exercise? Or is it the work stress that's causing the blockage? I do know that the constant struggle to shit and the aim to get a "smooth one" can get depressing for some. It seems futile and also such a deep dark secret. At least in my office, there are enough constipated people around to make it no longer a secret struggle. A small group of them have banded together, in good humour, to share their recipes and antidotes. I admire their efforts and wish them the best of luck and hope someone would try the yoga. For me, I just keep reminding myself to eat healthily and never take my good shit for granted.

Because, you never know when you might just do a Snowball.